What the? Did you see that? Out of left field!

I sometimes think I'm getting too old for this shit.  Seriously.

Ok you all know I've been "dabbling" in economic development over the past couple of decades or so.  Had some pretty awesome achievements if I do say so.  Ran a successful Chamber of Commerce,  on the northwest coast of Beerish Columbia.  Made "the Band" a cool million on the island. Even managed an office for the largest private construction company north of 60.  It has been an adventure.  A career thats taken me from the financial district of Vancouver to the Alberta foothills to tropical paradise of the Caribbean.

To quote the ever self affirming mensch in the blue sweater, Stewart Smalley, "I'm good enough,  I'm smart enough and dog gonnit, people like me."  So have I become a people pleaser?  Am I, as a good friend accused me "too nice.  Stop being so damn nice"  It's cause to self assess and figure out where I've gone astray.

Ok as far as ec dev goes,  I'm  pretty sure im hitting the mark.  Ive brought tons of awards back to my gig-de-jour.  Economic Developer of the Year...well that was significant!   Recognized as Outstanding by Federation of Canadian Municipalities. ..They're kind of a big deal.  But on a smaller scale?  Well small town politics are just not working out for me.

Now I'm no dummy, but I sense in myself some wide swaths of Freakin Oblivious.   And I may have mentioned this in previous posts, but once in a blue moon God comes and Smacks me in the head before I go "Oohhhh Never saw it that way before".  D'oh!

So Smack...I'm now gainfully unemployed.  I was shocked! Embarrassed!  How to tell my hubby? My family?  Friends?  Business clients?   Well how shocked was I, when the responses were supportive,  people saying You look great! Or "what were they thinking letting you go?"  Kind of the reassurance I crave.  I know, I thrive on the praise of others,  I need pats on the back.  Because I'm too nice! lol Kind of sad when I say it out loud.

So whats next in the Big Book O Marlean?  Im gonna jump...and become (brace yourself) a consultant!   Armed with enthusiasm,  a cell phone and a huge network of those smarter than I, I wanna make my mark, and have a good time.

This morning,  as I was motoring down the highway I had another Smack moment. D'oh a consultant can travel to appointments on her bike!  Uhuh.  Now we're cooking with gas. I've been pondering this - how can I get paid to ride my bike!! This might be it! Next step, register my company  name..MacArthur Park Group,  Marilyn MacArthur Team Leader.  My team? Husband and a cast of hundreds!

I'm excited!   I feel my mojo coming back, after a 6 month retreat.

To lose the joy of my career was a bigger destroyer of self confidence than I cared to admit to myself.  Thank God it only took a couple of Smacks to bring my thinking around. I'm gonna rock!   Gonna take a bit of work, but I'm feeling very Mary Tyler Moore!

If I had a tam, I'd toss it in the air and do a wee twirl.