Ola Mexico!

 I am blessed.  My isiter invited me to join her in Mexico for a week, at a 5 star all inclusive resort and Oh But its lovely here! 

I flew from the Vancouver Island to Calgary, then to Puerto Vallarta,.where I’d meet Sister.  The flights were ok, but full, but nothing prepared me for arrival at the airport in Mexico!  We’re talking mega crowded, organized confusion.  After an hour I made it thru security, and hooked up with sis in a bar where I was immediately fleeced by the waiter. Ok, that was a lesson, now I know…lol

 Yeah, cabbed to the resort, and then…the vacation was on!   Wow! wonderful staff, easy check in, but wait….we reserved a room with two queen beds, and there was one California King bed.  We are adaptable, and that bed is huge! So no problemo. Hung up my clothes, and off we go for cervesa. Not sure that was spelled correctly.  Also learned how to spell tequila.  A lot. 😋

The food here must compare to a cruise ship…there is a Lot and a massive variety.  Breakfasts were super good.  Fresh fruit, traditional Mexican delights…bliss! There are a selection of restaurants and bars on site, so we could spend a whole day just eating and drinking around the place.  Which we did the first day here.  😎

An hour at the spa I was as relaxed as a boneless chicken, perfect!  I came here to get rid of some of the past 7 months of stress. So far, so good!

This place has a lot of people.  Many pools, weddings every night, all sorts of people.  There seem to be a lot of Canadians, and so far I've met 8 from Van Island.  Nice folks, amazed on with my capacity for Charo Negro…tequila, lime and coke.  Yummers. 

Flew back on the 24th, on a Dream Liner…very nice comfy flight.  5 hr layover in Calgary ended up with me releasing my inner Santa Mac and entertaining two energetic boys ages 6 and 9 by introducing myself as Mrs Claus.  They were hilarious, their dad visibly relieved that I was entertaining them with stories of doing the elves cooking and picking up their socks.  Lol it was fun. 

We landed  on the island and I got to my car around 1 a.m., so crawled into bed at the b&b I’d reserved by 2.  And Christmas Day?  Found a Timmys that was open, then back to bed…huge wind and rain storm was hitting the island, so I stayed under the covers, watching movies and reading.  And looking at photos of my life with Santa over the past 23 yrs.  Enjoying memories, recalling the moments of wonder with him.  I was so lucky.  And now, well its never going to be the same  

That doesn't mean my life won’t have joy.  It does.  My heart is filled with joy, grateful for what I’ve had.  Do I miss him?  Every moment.  No regrets.  It was a blessed life.  

Being Christmas I have a duty, nay a responsibility to do the season right.  A tree, lights, decorations, some garland.  And Turkey!  Today, I stopped at the local IGA when I got back to town.  A whole bird was out of the question, I mean I've cooked what? 6 meals since Mac passed.  But what to my wondering eyes did appear?  A turkey drumstick!  Kaloo Kalay!  Grabbed a box of turkey dressing, a tin o cranberry sauce, an envelope of gravy….9 brussel sprouts, now we’re cooking! One pan, some chicken broth and 90 minutes later the house was redolent with the aroma of a roasting delicious bird.  And yes, it was delicious! Amazingly, one drumstick, and I had enough for seconds, and there are leftovers for tomorrow 😉 Oh Mac would be proud. 

And that my friends is how this old gal spent her first ever Christmas alone for many many years.  It was occasionally tough, mostly joyful and filled with the love of family and friends.  A bit of turkey, some tequila, some tears…I think everything is going to work out okay.  

Until next year, Feliz Navidad, Ano Nuevo! 😎😻🎄🎉💕

End of the Year….

 Now it’s December, full on winter weather on the North Island.  Major winds, waking me at 3 a.m. with the sound of the surf.  A lot of rain.  The winter sideways pounding rain.  But on the upside the temp is above freezing, today it was at least 8C.  Even with threatening clouds.  Heck a nearby village had lightening!  Very odd weather indeed.

I continue  to enjoy my new path, new journey.  I have a new friend, a very nice gentleman, who has proved to be a stellar dinner companion.  We both are dealing with loss of spouse, and are just….lonely.  As I’ve said in the past, Its not the lonely as much as the Alone.  So we have coffee, chat about life, friends and family.  He is a true island dude…logger, mechanic, hunter.  He is not a Habs fan, tends to cheer on the Blackhawks, but that keeps hockey interesting!  

Hows the Dodge Journey?  Well it has a mystery lurch, mystery in that the mechanic I took it to could not find anything amiss.  Said it runs great!  Hope its cured, I’ll take it for a rip and find out.

This weekend Im heading back to Vancouver, to enjoy the Vancouver Men’s Choral group, 120 strong, amazing voices!  Its a chance to glam up, hit the Queen Elizabeth theatre and enjoy time with friends ,

So after consulting my neighbor in a game of “how does this look?” I’m ready to hit the city 🥂👠.  

Then back for a few days before heading to 👙🌞⛱🌴with my sister!  Ariba!!  Then back again to the Island weather 🌬🌧💦 And before you know it, the year will be winding up, and I’ll be looking for Robbie Burns and a Haggis!

Its been one hell of a year.  Very stressful, some joy, love and fun.  But deep pain and sorrow losing my darling husband.  Paperwork is being wrapped up as we speak, and I am already imagining 2024 and a road trip to ….who knows? 

So tonight, I am hoping for more than last nights 3 hrs of sleep.  My mind is becoming more settled, peaceful.  Focused? Wellll not so much.  

Hope you all have a peaceful enjoyable December.  🎄⛄️ Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I keep on searching…who the heck am I?

 Not to sound too depressing, or depressed, but its 7 months since my identity changed.  

I’m no longer a wife: not cherished, not loved passionately, no longer a partner at the table, or a co-conspirator planning the next adventure.  I don’t wake up to a big warm breathing man in the morning.  I think that is one of the toughest things to get my head around, the aloneness. I am fortunate that I have a wonderful strong group of friends who check in on me, encouraging me to get out and live.  Which I try to do.  More on that in a bit. But times the loneliness is hard to bear.  Thank God for so many wonderful memories.  

I’m no longer interested in getting up and getting cleaned up, dressed for the day.  Indeed my motivation for a day not just in pajamas  is tough to find, particularly on weekends.  When waking up at 3:30 a.m., checking messages and emails keeps me awake till 7 a.m., its super easy to just go back to sleep until later, as in 11:30 !!!  Not a good habit.  Fortunately my Casey Cat demands not only her breakfast, she also wants to go outside and won’t  hesitate to purr loudly in my face.  Very demanding. 😺

My identity as a biker has also gone downhill.  Although I am welcomed as Macs spouse by the Widows Sons,  I am fairly certain my riding days are over.  On the upside I think I can sell the Streetglide this coming spring.  This has been really hard, as I’ve ridden many many miles over the past 50 odd years, with so much fun, wonderful sites to see, some wicked storms, coast to coast in my country and the United States and into Mexico.  

Now I’m retired, so I’m Im not even an economic developer!  Not that I miss it, and there isn’t a wallet deep enough to get me working in municipal government again, but I must admit my profession has had some very cool rewarding twists and turns, travel overseas to Norway, and the Caribbean, awesome staff, accolades I never envisioned when I started.  Yeah it had some perks. heck I think it was a great way to travel all over North America!

Tonite as I wrap up what could become a pity party, I realize I’m no longer who I was.  Oh Im I’m still a sarcastic, red neck, but I am working hard to distract myself.  

I’m a traveller.  This summer’s wandering to the prairies and the US showed me I’m braver than I thought, camping in my car…very good for rebuilding my self confidence.  The laughing and b.s.ing along with a few scotches didn’t hurt either.  I recently flew to Vancouver for a wedding, and super fun get together with the old crew, then to Tumbler Ridge to see mom and Bob.  An aside, the bumpy flight home was almost air sickness:  note to self, no seafood chowder before a flight. Now my sites are set for a 2024 road trip to who knows?  Virginia?  who knows!!

I’m now a member of the Legion, which means Fridays I can get out, socialize, and make some new acquaintances., some of whom are fast becoming friends. Its a safe, welcoming group where I can get a decent dinner and a beer for $15.00  (I think I’ve mentioned in previous blogs my challenge with cooking)

 I joined a Seniors Core Strength yoga group - definitely outside my comfort zone, since I end up sore and achy after the really big stretches.  Finding out a couple of things about myself like a) I have no sense of balance, and b) flexible is not an accurate descriptive for myself.  I’m working on it.  Much healthier than cookies and chips (see previous no cooking reference)

I’m a Rotarian, and trying to organize my time to make the meetings!  Lol As I write these new things, Its clear I’m slowly evolving over time.  I mean, I went to bingo one night with a new friend. I am comfortable going to my neighbour's in my PJ’s with coffee in hand to chat about weather, life, pets, etc.  I bought a new to me car.  

Life may not always be smooth sailing, but so many supportive friends make it much more bearable.  Admittedly I have slid into depression, not deep or self harming, but a brutal loneliness for someone who won’t be back.  A shallow depression?  Lol  But as I write tonight about the good things in my life, I reassured that I will survive and even thrive.

I mean, I am now watching hockey on TV!  Me and the cat, beer and chips - go Habs!  I did actually cook this week, a delicious steak and spud meal, some yakasoba noodles with pork and shrimp and now a fridge full of leftovers.  And my house is festive with 20 Santas distributed throughout and the tree decorated.  

Thanks friends for keeping me out of the ditches as it were.  I’m safe and warm, as a storm rages outside.  Hugs to y’all 🤗💕✌️

Hey look at me, I’m Cooking!

 The cost of stuff is getting ridiculous!  As all of you may have noticed.  I thought gas was crazy in BC, let alone on the north end of Vancouver Island!  Well, yes it is, however this weekend I, going to “motor” to the new Coop gas bar in nearby Port Hardy.  Also because I have a Coop card and may as well get the member discount.  

Today however, I got sticker shock when I purchased deodorant.  Regular old Secret for women, no designer, high end, fancy schmancy pit deodorizer.  I nearly choked: $8.60 for one!  Crazy!  It cost $3. More than thru Amazon!  Sooo next time I may just order online. 

Online seems to be the answer, and while I don’t like making Jeff Bezos even more of a kazillionaire, (he didn’t even send us a Christmas  card last year) it seems to make sense financially. I mean c’mon, I am a senior, on a fixed income!!  Albeit a lively, smart arse, hilarious senior, but I digress.

So back to the title: I’m cooking.  Yup, its been nearly 6 months but I am making food, instead of take out or just chocolate and red wine. Cooking for one has definitely been an adjustment.   I can’t keep raw veg in my fridge, since the crispers are either a) filling with water, the source of which I have yet to identify, or b) freezing my veg rock solid in crisper #2.  So since we used to get Hello Fresh delivered in Alberta, and even here in Port McNowhere, the nice delivery man brings me a box with three well planned meals, every Tuesday.  

Let me break it down: each meal is a generous portion intended for 2 people.  Now since I’m a one woman show, this means 1 meal is split into two, either lunch and dinner or two dinners.  So two days of food per meal.  This translates into potentially 6 meals in a week, for around $50 total or $8.33 a meal.  The bonus is so far I am actually getting 3 or 4 meals out of one meal package.  And yes they are delicious and not just noodles and burger. 

Oh I still find reasons to go to the grocery store, for pop, chips, bagels, and creamer.  But now no more agonizing over what to make.  Added bonus: each meal has veggies!  Uhuh.  And when I really crave variety, I go to the Legion and grab the $10 Friday home cooked vittles!  (Tomorrow beef dip!  Yummo) 

The only down side is I still have to do dishes.  Thank goodness I have a dishwasher, lol.   

P.S. today I even mentioned baking Christmas cookies!   OMG yes, life goes on! 

Prepping for a long wet winter ahead….He Shoots He Scores!

 Big News:  I’m watching hockey on television again! 

Oh its been at least three decades, back when LaFleur was still racing up and down the ice.  But inspired by my puck addicted friends, I signed up for Sports Net and tonight watched the Habs beat the Blackhawks.  It was great! Indeed I was by myself, along with the cat who slept through the game. How could I have forgotten how exciting the watching hockey could be? Goals, penalties, a few minor fights (more shoving matches) and one bloody nose. ..I found myself yelling along, “c’mon pass, Pass!,” and “Take the shot, ohhh darn it was open”,  I had a blast!  Well provisioned with a cold beer, a buttery bowl of popcorn, and some home made chili - which was delish - it was a superb way to spend Saturday night. 

I recall when my high school friend Yvonne and I were in the full throes of hockey mania, early 70’s, we’d come to my house to watch the game.  My Dad however was a 100% to his dying day a Toronto Maple Leaf fan,  and hearing us cheer Montreal when the Leafs were playing:  well he’d unceremoniously kick us out of the house.  Lolol When in my late teens as a waitress I actually served veal cutlets to Foster Hewitt:  the radio broadcaster renowned for his Hockey Night in Canada phrase “He shoots,  he scores!” I think he was surprised at how this dorky teen was over the moon, meeting this man, who in my eyes was a hockey Legend! A brush with greatness? 

When I was really young hockey ruled the roost - back in The tiny Saskatchewan farm community we lived, the outdoor rink held many games, and my dad was always on the ice.  There was a shack with a wood stove where we’d  thaw frozen fingers and toes, where I learned how to cinch up my brothers skates.  Some times we’d trudge to the farm just out of town, push shovels on the dugout to clear a rink of our own,  at Buhlers Farm.  I’m pretty sure one of their boys made it to the NHL.  

In my-hand-me down boys skates, I thought having my own stick and whipping along the rink was heavenly.  Decades later, when I had a full time job, one of my first big purchases was a new pair of girls skates. Figure skates .  My first time out was skating on a lake, where I promptly caught a toe pick in a crack on the ice, and did a belly flop that knocked the wind out of me!  Other more graceful gals I hung out with laughed at me, saying I skated like a boy.  Well yes, I probably did. 😅

My winter will be filled with Stuff.  Saturday night hockey, church Sunday, two core strenthen/stretch classes during the week, and Legion supper Friday.  Heck I am even thinking of becoming a regular volunteer to prep food for Friday dinners.  Its a super deal: dinner and dessert $10, and $5 for a beer.  

Early November I’ll be doing some travelling to a wedding in Surrey and to see mom in Tumbler Ridge.  December my sister and I are off to Mexico for a week.  My biggest decision is whether or how much should I decorate for Christmas.  Then its on to another year.  

P.S.  I may have to do the January turkey 🦃 since the frozen stuffed breast at Thanksgiving was….well lets say it may have been turkey-like, but I'm spoiled.  I ended up chucking half of it in the bin.  I’m going to seek a replacement, cook it on a Saturday and enjoy all the leftovers I desire!  

Until next time, keep your stick on the ice.

Gobble Gobble! 🍂 🦃 🍁

 Well my friends  and family, tis Thanksgiving weekend in Canada.  A weekend where the crisp fall air is redolent with the smell of roasting turkey, with gravy, mashed potatoes and stuffing…and never forget cranberries.  

Its a time to be grateful.  To appreciate what you have, what you've had, and the year so far.  Now I’ll admit, there has been a major upset in my year.  One I will never forget, but I am also filled with gratefulness for the previous 23 years with my favorite person,  my darling husband Mac.  And that brings me back to Thanksgiving.  

Traditionally, this is kick off to the Endless Season of Turkey.  yes Mac was a bonafide turkey-a-holic.  Starting out with the selection of the Thanksgiving bird, which he claimed had to be a 25 pounder at minimum, and which was always a fall feast to remember!  He loved to prepare, in a variety of ways,  his “guest of honour” to kick off the turkey months to come.

Along with the Thanksgiving Turkey, there was then the November pre-Christmas “practise turkey”, followed by the December Christmas bird, and culminating in his January “birthday turkey.”   yes, he did take his bird seriously. 

Sometimes roasted to perfection, stuffed with a delicious traditional dressing, one year with Oyster stuffing, one woth Sausage stuffing and one with “historically accurate” stuffing.  This last one involved cranberries, hazelnuts, onion, and should have been delicious.  Let me explain.

Mac wanted to do the dressing as the First Canadians dressed their birds.  So native nuts and berries were used.  When we tested the bird, with the traditional Mennonite stick a fork in the thigh, to our shock the juices ran red!  Back into the oven it went, 45 more minutes.  Another test, another flow of red juice! Finally we clued in if a person puts whole raw cranberries into the dressing, it runs red…with cranberry juice!  

Another year, while living in Vancouver, we shopped at Stongs, a renowned grocery store, and as I rolled the cart to the produce section, I saw Mac in the check out line.  I hurried over to see him cradling the biggest turkey Ever in his arms, a huge happy grin .. “look at this one”!  He honestly looked like a wee lad carrying a fluffy puppy…  it was a fresh, never frozen, “ethically killed, organic “ bird, that weighed 32lbs!!!  The teller was giggling at my reaction to this behemoth of a bird, I wasn’t sure it would fit in our oven!   Well it did, it was perfection and to date the best turkey I’ve ever had!   Thankfully we had some guests with big appetites to share in the feast.  

Then came life in the NWT where he bbqed a bird on the rotisserie, which apparently our neighbors had never seen, so we again had a family of neighbors share in the bounty.  Add the wonderful spatchcocked turkeys whether on the bbq, in the smoker or in the oven, he always amazed me with his cooking prowess.  

I am going to miss those turkey-paloozas, the resultant gallons of soup, curries, gravy…. I actually found 2 turkeys in the freezer when I shifted contents to one, to sell the second freezer this past month.  One went to the church where it has gone to a family in need.  The other will go to the neighbor for a big meal.  

As for me, a turkey addict by association, I purchased a stuffed breast, which ill have Monday.  A gal has to have some leftovers for turkey buns ya know!  I’m thawing the last of frozen homemade gravy and have buns and mayo on standby.

And tonight, while I’m so grateful for the past 23 years, I am also thankful for my friends who care for me and check in on me.  Tonight I’m dining with awesome friends, and their huge family, so grateful they are in my life.

To you, my dear friends, family and readers, I remind you - be grateful and thankful for the many wonderful blessings you receive.  😍💕

A second full moon, and one less molar!

 The evening Mac died, he made me promise to take care of my teeth.  Sounds weird, but he seemed adamant, and since the offending molar had broken three times, mercifully without much oain, and after cancelling my appointment and rebooking twice, I had the dirty deed done yesterday.  Oh it was a gooder, a curved root, not much for Doc to grab onto so it was mega frozen, then wiggled, broken, cut and finally out in 4 pieces.  Dang. That meant after I thawed, my jaw, neck and head were sore but the tooth was gone!  Today I am much better, on

I needed two tylenols yesterday, none today, and felt good enuff to carefully eat a bagel (with cream cheese and a cuppa tea) in the words of Gloria Gaynor “I will survive”. 

On the 23rd the Celebration of Life was just that: a celebration.  With very good friends who came from Alberta, Vancouver and Victoria, as well as his Masonic brothers and some Port McNeill buddies, it was wonderful, and Mac would have enjoyed it.  And afterwards, a sense of peace came over me, and many of his friends.  It was the closure we were seeking, and God filled my heart with joy.  

As I reflected on this past month, I decided it was time to keep moving forward and so enter Amazon, and three new maps ordered!  Even though I’m not 100% sure where I'm off to, I am 100% sure a long drive is in the stars!  Definitely to The Widows Sons N/S run in the Crowsnest in July, then who knows? Perhaps a stop first and set up in the Cypress Hills?  I’m hoping camping in Wisconsin  with an old girlfriends  to rehash our silly past exploits, then look up friends in Illinois and  farther south.   

While I was pondering future adventures, I stumbled across one of Johns journals.  Gorgeous, hand made pages, leather bound and sadly the first entry was made 4 days before he died.  A somber reminder, and to me an inspiration to continue my journey and record places, people and adventures, and in a small way always taking a part of him with me.  

“The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began.  Now far ahead the road has gone, and I must follow, if I can.”J.R.R. Tolkien

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Wake up Marlean, you’ve got things to do!

 Wow that last blog was sad.  I honestly think I had bottomed out.  And now, having read some really inspirational stuff, having let it sink in that he’s not coming back, and that that I need to move forward - I do believe I'm Okay.  Actually, I’m doing good! 

Ok I must be a bit slow on the uptake at times, but it hit me:  this is now my life.  I love having new challenges, I love being retired, and I can travel!  People keep asking me how I’m doing, today I answered Great!  Because I know in my heart of hearts that a ton of new as well as familiar experiences await me.  

It was “the wee small voice” reassuring me that this too is part of The Plan. I am not alone, and I have faith that more will unfold as it should. Faith gets me through life, why would I not trust it now?

So always one to grab a challenge, my fall months are rapidly getting busy right into winter. Macs celebration of life is happening in two weeks.  He loved to feed his friends so we start the afternoon with pulled pork, Carolina Style!  It will be great to share some memories and laugh with friends old and new. 

November his nephew and new wife are having a gathering to celebrate their recent wedding in the Philippines, so I’m heading to Surrey for a big party - Philippine style!  Can’t  wait.  And in December I’m off to Mexico with my sister.  Mac would be proud, and of course remind me to behave.  Lol

I continue to plan another summer road trip in Wanda, and so I’m going to take a few days to test the new car camping capabilities. Wanda will shine! Since I’m retired, I don’t have to wait for the weekends!

Else wise, I have been cooking meals (eating all that beef and chicken in the freezer) and trying to wean myself off of takeout, beer and cookies.  The struggle is real!  However I don’t want to struggle with my new bathing suits when we hit Puerto Vallarta eh.?  

I have even been researching a move in spring.  When and If  I finally do decide to relocate possibly back to the flatlands (Mac called it the Motherland) there will be many household items and furniture for sale!! Everything I keep has to fit in the car and on the roof rack,  Even Casey!  🙀

So with a joyful heart I look forward to this month.  September, with that amazing full moon, the smell of fall in the air, and new winter tires on the horizon.  Camping will be chilly, good thing I have just the things to wear.  New day, new me. 

“God has a path for your feet to follow, a plan for your heart to discover and a purpose for your life to fulfill.”  

I can’t argue with that!

Cooking for my darling….

 Over the past 4 months cooking has fallen by the wayside.  I haven’t had much of an appetite except for chocolate, cookies, beers and wine.  Not the major food groups . Though Chips Ahoy would be on the cusp, just because they are soooo delicious. 

Oh I have made the odd attempt, Eggos for breakfast, a scrambled egg here and there.  Heck I even baked up 4 croissants from frozen dough this a.m.  That may have spurred me on to make a fantastic dinner!

Chicken fried golden crispy, a plethora of amazing fresh veggies sautéed, then the whole she ang seasoned and baked for 90 minutes.  The house smelled fantastic.  The chicken was perfect, the veggies were tender and so flavourful.    

So tonight I set the table, ate from china plates, and had a perfect chilled glass of Reisling to accompany the meal.  And said aloud Oh John, you would have loved this. 🥲 And I know in my heart of hearts, he would have. 

These are the times I really miss him. Desperately.  When my heart is breaking, and I cant help but cry.  When someone says oh “you are so strong” some days I want to scream “No I’m in more pain than you can imagine!” 

But I carry on!  He would have wanted me to.  To find joy in the beauty of a sunset, to laugh at silly jokes, to pray and have faith.  It ain’t easy but I know it will get better.   Have courage! 

Now I sit with a full belly, a tear and a lump in my throat, and I’m not gonna cry.  My cat knows how I feel, even though she’s hell bent on biting me these days.  I chalk it up to the coming autumn and a case of cabin fever. 🥴

Soon its September again.  Friends will celebrate his life on the autumnal equinox.  Weather will chill, and me and the cat will get out warm blankets and maybe hot chocolate.  

This week the North Island woke to booming thunder.  A rare occurrence up here.  And boy o boy did it remind me of my home on the prairies.  Oh it was no window rattling Alberta t-storm, but it was decent!  And it filled me with hope that some day I’ll return to where my roots are.  I know I will find a way, just not right now.  But it will happen 😎

In the words of Bruce Lee Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.

Come on Wanda, the open road calls!

 “I may not know where I’m going but I sure know where I’ve been.  These words keep rolling around my brain, urging me to get a map, and start planning my 2024. 

I guess its simple to say I’ve been around.  As far west on the continent north of the 49th to as far east off Newfoundland.  On a motorcycle.  All sorts of weather, all kinds of roads…the Pennsylvania turnpike for example:  as bumpy as the frost heave across Nfld.  Loose shale on the last leg to the Grand Bay Stomp (oh now that’s a tale for a few brews another time) Low flying airforce buzzing us as we traveled through White Sands, after avoiding street dogs in Mexico. And my first totally solo trip in a “cage” …to Montana and beyond!

Travelling reasonably long distance by car, or “cage” as the hard core riders call it (or over enthusiastic HOG members would say) is not something I’ve been that familiar with.  Okay yes in 1974 I did travel and not alone, to Mexico from Saskatchewan in a Datson 510 which had been purchased for $250 and a few beer.  Another blog, another day. Lol 

But this summers KIA kar kamping trip was basically to get my head on straight and say goodbye to my darling spouse following his sudden death. Now as fate would have it, the KIA actually belonged to him.  And then to his estate.  So I’ll bid it adieu and now need a vehicle for myself.  That I'll own.  And this means Vehicle Shopping.  Which also translates to A Long Time in the Dealership.  

Three and a half hours south of me was an advertised Dodge Grand Caravan.  Older for sure, but in my price range.  Or so the online ad claimed.  Alas, said van had been in a wreck and had not been sufficiently repaired.  So was not, as claimed, for sale or financeable.  Drat! After much searching and discussion, some cold coffee and Timbits, another candidate came forward!  My new to me, 2015 Dodge Journey.  An appropriately named model! And she’s lovely!  Lots of room to convert into my shangrila on wheels.  Shiny black with super clean interior.  And unlike a KIA Soul I bought brand new, this one has A/C, cruise, and an actual spare tire!!! Luxury.  Mac would approve. 😃 I shall name her “Wanda”.  Its the first time I've ever actually named any vehicle, Ever!   Apparently I’m entering a new phase in my life.  

So Wanda and I shall venture forth to see new sites, and share adventures for many years, I hope.  Having lots of cargo space, and my recently purchased roof top carrier, should a move arise she will do nicely.  I’m even considering having a hitch put on her in case I get a small trailer.  Who knows where we’ll wander!

I keep watching youtubes made by women who wander big time, sometimes saying they weren’t homeless, they were houseless.  With todays tough economic environment apparently us young seniors are choosing a nomadic lifestyle more and more.  Interesting!  The movie Gypsyland has been recommended, so I’ll watch that.  

Until then it seems my very snoopy cat has opened the drawers on my dresser, and managed to slither behind them.  Now trapped, rattling around, causing me to go on a rescue mission that involves moving furniture, dropping f bombs and making a big mess.  Oh life is never dull.  

Catchya on the rebound.  P.S.  I am not taking the aforementioned Cat travelling with me.  😂 

 

 

“I haven't been everywhere, but its on my list.”

Ah Sunday on the couch with the cat.  It’s becoming a habit.  Have a coffee, today peaches and muffins for breakfast.  Very yummy.  Cold pizza for lunch, again no cooking involved. It should be relaxing, listening to the birds, checking the ‘net, deciphering messages.  Telling myself to get up and get stuff done.

Maybe make a list!  I can check off what I have accomplished, remind myself what needs to be completed, or even started.  

Speaking of started, the Studio project is well in hand!  Shelves moved, dvd’s and cookboks sorted, and I now have room for the guest bed:  a queen size inflatable.  Progress!  

One bank has been dealt with, two to go:  this gives me hope!  Kitchen is clean, papers organized and mostly off my table. Kahloo kalay!  Heck I even vacuumed and swept.  

So why am I still feeling so unsettled?  Restless?  Its a weird state of mind.  My sister and I are working on a plan to head to Puerto Vallarta in December.  A good plan, since Christmas will be tough this year. (And likely for many years) I am excited about this plan!  I always am up to wander, to have an adventure  and see new places.  On the down side its a few months away and I am keeping calm and not yet dragging out my suitcase!  Lol tho I know what Im taking. 😎 another list!

These days my mind is working overtime while I remain physically inactive.  Hard to explain.  In one moment I’m pondering a move, to another place, with or without my belongings?  Start from scratch or pack it all into a U haul?  Take my cat or rehome the sweety?  I want to be comfortable, at the same time I’m considering living out of my car.  Lol set up house in a new place, or go sit on a porch pontificating over a couple of brews with a distant friend?  Or just settle here, but do I really want to die on this island?  My thoughts are all over the place.  It kind of tires me out mentally.  Lol More lists!

Keep yourself busy is the advice I am given.  So for now Im helping with the upcoming Fall Fair, working on the upcoming Celebration of Life, and prepping the house.  I have lots to do, but I'm lazy and easily distracted.  On Youtube its easier to sit and watch a couple camping in the wettest possible location in Russia.  Lol their inflatable tent and neat gizmos are fascinating.  

One thing for certain, I will keep traveling as I can afford it.  So far so good, and there are some cool places on my list.  😎 cant wait!

Please leave a message…blah blah blah

 Its Friday.  And since returning over a week ago my phone is oddly silent.  Nary a ring a ding.  Does this mean I’m disconnected?  Alas disconcerted, disappointed, disillusioned and frankly disgusted!  I leave my phone numbers (multiple) and voice messages clearing stating my contact information and the reason for my call.   🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗 Crickets.  Nothing.  Big sigh.  Patience Marlean, its a process.  The banks will eventually return your call.  Arghhhh.  Its a test!

Now for my fans who really know me, patience is not a word in my vocabulary.  Oh I try.  I no longer honk my horn at other drivers who are slightly slow on the gas.  I don’t ever tap my fingers on the counter when waiting for service.  I can even wait for a meal or a coffee to be served. But its a struggle.  However this  week its the least of my problems. 

I returned home only to get a dang cold!  Yup, sore throat Sat night, oh its nothing a little orange juice cant fix.  Sunday it was deep in my chest, coughing my face off…this was The Thing , I  heard later, which was zipping around town.  I ended up on my back, in bed, for 4 days.  Oh sure fever, aches, it was a delight,  I think in my defence I got run down being all “miss socialite” for the previous 4 weeks.  

It is tough when a person like myself, with no patience, gets sick and laid low.  And its humbling.  My friends are here for me, and I am too damn stubborn to ask for the help they offer!  

.Learning to accept advice, and good wishes, and love from friends has been a big lesson for me.  Throw in some weak weepy moments, I thank all my friends and family near and far for keeping me on the long slow road to feeling okay again.  Which mostly I am!  I do slip into binge watching mindless crap on TV, leaning on junk food and perhaps a beer here and there.  And providing me with the mental energy to laugh, plan more travel and consider where I’ll end up living once the dust settles.  These are no small tasks.. my friends are awesome.

Tomorrow my very good friend, my Led Zep sister invited me for a pre farmers market breakfast.  😎🌞 She’s been there done that and is a tiny woman with more energy than you can shake a stick at!  How wonderful to know her.  I have a friend who I chat with regularly  from the southern US who  reminds me to write, and paint, and seek ice cream!  A plethora of great people…too many to name.  This is what gets me energized and moving forward.

I don’t want to get all maudlin and down.  I did kind of struggle not to break down at the flower shop, getting stuff for the upcoming Celebration of  Life (September 23)  but remembered an inappropriate joke, about throwing the flowers from the casket into the crowd to see who catches it.  Who’s next.  Oh dear, its the stress…lol  The ladies at the flower shop didn’t laugh near as hard as I did.  🤭

And tomorrow I am determined to get my studio to the point where I will paint!  And at least move the new computer stuff into the office.  Like eating an elephant, small bites. Its the August Long Weekend, traditionally one with lots of laughs, mosquito bites and sunburn.  This year its perhaps a bit muted, but I will prevail.  

Mexican food, great scenery and the Northern Cascades: I love it!

 And its back into the USA again, into beautiful Washington.  Mountains and super tall trees pretty much took my breath away.  A friendly border guard asked where Id come from, and well you know me - the long version.  He said “sorry for your loss.  Thats a long goodbye”.  I reckon about 5,000 km in total, or 3,100 miles.  4 weeks on the road and to be honest, I could do it again!  

So I made it to Winthrop where I’d been dreaming of Mexican food.  Alas the labour shortage had hit and he was closed, no wait staff.  That is so common nearly everywhere I went! Rolling westward along the Skagit river the weather was glorious, and I had breakfast near the Diablo dam.  Pancakes and bacon, really decent coffee and a chat with two outdoorsy guys who it turned out had been camping for over a month.  They were engineers, and said because of the unusually warm summer and increased snowmelt the waterfalls in Yosemite were outstanding!  Apparently there are a lot of mountain goats in the area, but I didn’t see them,  however I did snag a great tshirt at the visitor info centre “Got Goats.”  Ok that is a bit of an inside joke between me, Mac and my mom.  He’d say “your mother promised me a dowry of 100 goats, don’t speak to me of goats…” in his best Russian accent.  

My destination was Port Townsend, and to get there I took two really really high bridges onto Whidby Island.  The bridges are at the tip of Deception Pass, super scenic and as I stood there looking out, I made the mistake of looking down.  OMG so that is vertigo!  I had to slowly and very deliberately back to grab my car…it was spooky!  Then two F15s flying in close formation came over the bridge - very exciting, Whidby Island is a Naval Air Station.  

It’s also home to I’m assuming a lot of Mexican Americans, since the radio station I tuned into had excellent tunes and the restaurant El Cazadore I enjoyed Carne Asada - a generous helping for sure! 

Port Townsend is where Macs cousin Lynn lives. Seeing her was a blast, and we had a huge dinner, complete with blueberry pie and ice cream which pretty much finished me off for the night.  Bonus: I got to meet her corgi Dax. Then off to my motel to sleep and prep for a 5 a.m. up and attem to go to the Port Angeles ferry terminal.  I made it into the standbye lane, as all three morning sailings were fully booked, and phew I made it onto the Black Ball Ferry to Victoria.  A really friendly bunch of Nebraskans were also waiting, and we chatted about bbq, brisket, guns, and “current affairs “.  We aren’t that different when it comes down to it.  

Of course the google map voice was of no use to me, so I lived up to my nickname “wrong way” but eventually found the TransCanada, and slowly chugged out of the city and once past Goldstream Park, where all sense of acceleration seems to be lacking,  I headed north!  Grabbed a sandwich at Timmies and an iced coffee, and there was no stopping me!  Ok one gas stop where the price was a shocker once more.  Lol and onward!

By 5 p.m. I was home. The end of a long drive indeed! The cat was very excited to see me, and I was happy to sleep in my own bed for the nite!  It was weird coming home to an empty house.  The joy of seeing so many friends and family, and hearing the love for Mac makes it easier to live with.

A solo trip for 4 weels was a test of my strength, and a way to honour my favorite guy.  So many places brought back wonderful joyous memories.  He’d have loved it.  And now its time to soldier on, deal with the bank (arghhh) and continue to make my new life. And definitely plan the next road trip adventures!  

Until the next voyage 🤓

Stumbling towards the States…

 Pincher Creek is a lovely albeit small town.  Nestled against the Rockies, its neighbor to Waterton Park.  And that is where my story starts. 

Spending time with my friend was wonderful.  We played tourist at Waterton.  What a gorgeous inspiring place to be!  Great folds of rock make up the sheer towering beauty of the surroundings.  Lots of eateries, ice cream shops, gift shops galore.  Interesting to chat with the shop owners who cant find help!  The restaurant we had brunch at was closed the day before because the cook had a kidney stone and there was no one to fill the staff gap.  The ice cream candy store lady was running between two shops, since she had no one to take care of customers except her!  

It made for a long discussion between my buddy and I wondering How did it get to this state?  Was it Covid?  Was it a generational thing?  Most people I know that are of my cohort worked from an early age or got no money for “stuff”.  We also all moved out of our parents homes, striking out on our own into the wide wide world.  Now I truly sound like an old fart. 😂

This morning I headed west again.  First I had to fix the room reservations in Grand Forks, which I made on the wrong day.  That taken care of I hit Timmys, spilled coffee all over my car — whats with the new lids on their take out coffee?  All cleaned up, I was off.

Ok maybe Off is too optimistic, since the #3 highway or the Crowsnest has some construction.  Ok, by “some” I mean west from Pincher Creek to the BC border.  So a speedy trip it was not.  As I headed west, I noted a lot of cars looked dirty.  Like they’d been drifting through a field of summer fallow.  Interesting.  I stopped in the town of Sparwood , and noticed the ridge at the edge of town had 8 fires on it…filling the valley with smoke,  too steep for ground crews or water bombers, the Info Centre staff said it was concerning.   I’d call it scary.  

In Creston I jumped at the chance to try some peaches, which looked to be just picked!  OMG  😳 they were so sweet, juicy, delicious.  wow!  Just what I had imagined them to be.  Seems so many people eat one right there and then, they have a sink and paper towels to wash the inevitable mess off your hands.  And wrists.  And elbows….I told you they were juicy. 😛

As I was marvelling at all this peachy abundance I asked the lady standing next to me about the dirty cars. Most only had cleaned the yellow brownish dust from their windscreens.  Very odd looking.  She cleared up the mystery: a music festival, celebrating electronic music, was being held in nearby Fernie.  And it was apparently huge!  Then she told me to be prepared to get stopped, as the police were checking cars for drunks, drugs, etc and there may be a wait.  And a wait there was.

There were concert goers, along with work trucks, tourists, trailers, people coming and going, logging trucks, semis, chip trucks…a lot of traffic.  A lot of slow or not moving over 6 km per hr traffic.  And it was 33C and windy.  Not a calming scenario.  The line up was incredibly long, as dirty cars were pulled over, and the rest of us slowly went by.  I had rolled down my window and said to the officer “hate hippies” since a 90 minute wait was testing my patience.  His response “so do I, but I like you 😉” Oh my!  Teehee

Finally on to Grand Forks, happily ripping along at a min of 110kpm…happy traffic!  A nice friendly motel, gassed up the car ($174.9 a litre - 40 cents more than Medicine Hat AB) A fantastic steak sandwich later, I am feet up and relaxed. 

Now I have time to think.  I ask myself am I now feeling lonely rather than alone?  This trip has given me reassurance of friendships, but I still feel a gap.  I miss the companionship of my Mac.  A hug.  A smooch.  A shared laugh.  It still is weird to me at times. Like I’m on this long drive, seeing friends and family, but still no one to sit next to or wake up with.  I got used to that over the last 23 yrs. And I miss it.

In the morning I continue my adventure heading south across the border.  Heading west on the North Cascade Highway towards the coast, but first Mexican food in Winthrop Washington. Another spot we loved on previous visits. To me another place where I feel less alone or lonely. 

There is a difference.  Being alone is a physical state of being by yourself.  Being lonely is an emotional state feeling alone or disconnected.  I think thats it.  As a strong independent woman, I need that connection.  🤓 This journey has only strengthened my feeling of connection. 

J RR Tolkien said it well  “How do you move on? You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back.”

, 

Hella hoppers and Skeeters

 Tis bug season!  In this drought it seems the grasshoppers are bigger, more plentiful and uglier than ever.  And skeeters?  How much DEET can a person wear without falling over and kicking the bucket?  Good grief!  

The Alberta weather continues to be Hot and wild!  A mega wind storm created dust, rocked vehicles on the highway and moved a cabin trailer at my friends development 5 inches over on the cement pad!  The drought has backed crops in some areas.  They are beyond rain, theres no saving them now.  Its sad.  I feel for the farmers.  Irrigation reservoirs are getting lower and lower as farms need to irrigate.  Its a struggle.

I had the good fortune to be invited to a bbq with my former neighbours, at a development on the reservoir near my old town of Milo.  It was really good to chat, to hear the latest and greatest and reconnect.  Apparently I miss them more than I realized.   Then onto my buddies Liza and Dave, where they cooked tuna steaks - a first for me! It was grand.  Words of wisdom I came away with: first marriage is for lust, the second for love, the third for money.  Lol.  Not in a hurry for that, and someone That Rich would likely be eyeing a “newer model” lol.

Now at Crazy Tracy’s farm, a very pretty place with 4 doggos.  Last night after a busy day I heard coyotes, an owl and two german shepherds trying to out howl the coyotes!! Lol 

The take away from all this Alberta experience is a full court press for me to relocate back here.  Offers of 5th wheels to live in until I find a suitable rental, help with moving, gas at 60 cents a litre cheaper than I pay on the north island… and a bunch of friends .  But the thing is, i am not sure if thats what I want to do.  I need time to ponder this.  I love the sun here, but also love the beauty of where I live now.  Shopping here is a temptation but I have an affordable place to live in Port McNowhere.  So I will keep weighing the pros and cons as I continue my adventure. 

Tomorrow it’s breakfast at my favourite Hutterite Colony with my favorite Hutterite couple George and Martha.  Salt of the earth, kind, generous and really good folks!  We watched their kids grow into amazing adults, now getting married! They loved my Mac so it will be another smiles and tears experience.  These are the pair that came on vacation when we drove to Port McNowhere on vacation.  George wanted to hunt bear, lol   The bears were safe on that trip. 

Then I'm off to see one more gal pal in Pincher Creek.  I anticipate a couple of late nights and good craic! I'll bring wine 🤪 then on to the state of Washington in search of the best Mexican food ever, and westward to the Pacific Ocean and hopefully cousin Lynn!  

Go west Marlean, go west!

Back to me old stomping grounds.

 Oh.  Canada.  

Ok so I must admit the trip has been amazing.  I forgot how beautiful the prairies can be.  Big skies…I mean mind bogglingly massive.  Sweeping clouds.  Feathered and adorable.  And sun!  Lots of sun.  Then the blue grey of sage bush, pronghorn antelope, mule deer with striped fawns.  Glorious.  I had to stop and just stand and take in the vistas.  I hope I captured these scenes so I can paint them someday. 

This year marks 50 years since I graduated from High School.  5 decades.  I lived in the best of times!  The best music, the coolest cars.  It was awesome! So now I was going to a cabin in the Cypress Hills to hang out with two of my besties from the 70’s. What a great reunion.   It was like we had never been apart, even though we had not seen each other for about a dozen years.  That cabin is modern, gorgeous, and had a very comfy bed.  Stories of crazy days made us laugh till we were breathless.  My favorite moment was one of my friends yelling “You made me pee my pants”!  Lol Mission accomplished. 🤣

I stopped in for a quick visit to a former hairdresser and buddy who now has 8 grandkids!  Again tears, hugs and laughter.  It was weird going through the town I’d left 23 yrs ago when I left to live with Mac.  Partially looking for some familiar haunts, partially hoping I wouldn’t drag up old ghosts.   Time has healed over a few wounds, changed the way things appeared, and spurred old memories.  Weird.  Not nostalgic, just weird feeling. 

Then north to meet up with my family: and a stay in the Bessborough Hotel, a grand old castle.   Thanks sis!  An evening with my family is frenetic, to say the least.  It was wonderful seeing them, hugs, lots of love, and a lot of noise.  Seems we all have to talk at the same time, louder and louder…lol I wasn’t use to that anymore. But overall it was wonderful.  

Seems Saskatchewan has a lot of old friends, so tonight I am watching the sky at my pal Georgettes acreage.  Its been a few years since I saw her and Tom.  Mac and I hung out with them a lot when we lived near High River. How great was it to chill out with them now in their new place in the country.  Then lunch in the Borden Hotel.  I am blessed with so many good friends. 

I feel lonely for my beloved.  At the same time touched by the concern and love I received on this trip.  I do need to stop the bad language that seems to slip out!  Why does that happen?  Chalk it up to stress I guess.

These experiences all show me that yes, I can survive alone.  I don’t like that word Alone.  It sounds cold and sad.  Each morning I wake up to widowhood.  Never in my plans.  I still can laugh, but my silliness level is low.  The pain of heartache is a new companion I need to come to terms with.  

It will be okay.  Tonight as I sit quietly with my friends, I contemplate the trip home.  The dread of returning to my empty flat sits like a rock in my gut.  Reality says I must go back, fantasy says Just keep on driving.  But my travels will be filled with more reunions with my buddies.  And some laughs and reminiscing and so it goes.  

I’ll choose my route, see more sights old and new, and reunite with my cat!  But not for at least another week.  

It will be okay.  In the words of Scarlett O’Hara “fiddley dee, tomorrows another day”.

Feeling the love in Montana

 Made it!  My friend Sandy F’n Campbell is a Widows Son brother to my John.  We go waay back, and what a great guy to have a brew and a visit with! After an excellent night in Dunmore at Marion and Sandy’s…I packed up, filled up and headed south.  

The trip so far has had tears, laughs, and long conversations: and thats just me in the car alone!  Now I was heading south, thru Cypress Hills, across the border, and onwards to Laurel MT.  And indeed, I hit construction.  All the way through Billings.  Luckily I think Mac was helping me stay on target, no swerving left or right ,and soon, with a few phone calls for clarity I was in Laurel.  Ok I did end up in a truck stop parking lot surrounded by big rigs and weaseling my way through them.  But soon I was at my friends Wally and Nevas house.  They are the best!  For three days they chauffeured me around, took me to The Man Cave and Lodge where everything was happening.  This years N/S run was outstanding!  Riders from Fort Mac, 11 from Saskatchewan, Sons from North Dakota, Alberta, Wyoming and of course Montana… and many had their spouses. One soul from Alberta had just returned from a ride to Tuktoyaktuk, talk about endurance!  Then made it to the event.  What a guy!  I love them all, with the exception of three (who were drunk the whole time, but are a-holes when sober) but they were are all Macs Brothers.

We had beers, Tacos by Dan,  many many heartfelt words of missing Mac and offers of help to me.  And big Man Hugs!  At the Lodge a Masonic tribute was on display, sort of the Widows  Sons version of goodbye, like a riderless horse with boots on backwards.  I was asked to say a few words, and I admit I did break down a couple of times.  But the crowd had many tearful faces.  Male and female, it was so touching.  He would have approved!  

The brotherhood shown me that day was healing.  I felt it was a big step to moving forward for me, to have strong people who sincerely care. I can only strive to thank them and will never forget them - they are my family now. We shared two bottles of MacArthur scotch and toasted absent brothers, the way Mac would have wanted.  And on Sunday, I started north. After 35 bikers sang Happy Birthday to me after breakfast!

Montana is gorgeous.  I stayed at one of our favourite spots in White Sulphur Springs, sat in the hot springs and reminisced about our times soaking in the pools. A friend who is a Widows Son and the local Sheriff took me for dinner…chicken fried steak, as big as a hubcap which although delicious was toooo much!  In the a.m. I packed up, and left for Havre.  Ok note to self: don’t leave without coffee…so after a quick return to get my phone charge cords, I was off! Yeah, I headed the wrong way.  Lol so a Uturn and I was on my way north.

The speed limit here is 70 mph…about 120 kpm, and that sure works for me! Breathtaking mountains, forest, rivers, it is amazing here! Stopping at the State Park and being overwhelmed by a chorus of birds, watching deer, one antelope once I hit the open prairie, it is hard to put in words the emotions it brings out,  and the joy and peace I’m filled with.  

I feel I’m healing.  His death is still raw, still fresh but now I am secure knowing I’ll be alright.  The love and support that has surrounded me from his friends on this trip leaves me with a deep sense of peace and hope for my future.  As my good friend Karen said “It’s okay”. 

Tonight I’m in Havre for my last night in the US on this trip.   Tomorrow another adventure commences into the Cypress Hills, this being my 50 year anniversary of my high school grad. Can’t  wait to see my girlfriends, share some Vino (did I mention my fav wine was $20 a bottle cheaper in Montana!) have some laughs and catch up on life.  Then I’ll venture to Saskatoon to see family.  But that will undoubtedly be another tale to tell.

In the words of Tolkien  “there was Frodo, pale and worn and yet himself again; and in his eyes there was peace now, neither strain of will, nor madness, nor any fear.  His burden was taken away.”

Sunshine and coffee…Happy 4th of July!

 I’m overwhelmed, comforted, flooded with memories of 4th of July.  22 of the, to be exact.  Thats how many Mac and I celebrated together.  Occasionally in the States, on our bikes, in the town voted Best Small Town to Celebrate the Fourth, Choteau Montana.  Yup a real live small town parade, where people celebrated whether Republican or Democrat…both parties had their float a s entourage with them…cheers, flag waving, very red white and blue! Friendly folk, making room in the shade for the two smiling Canucks.  

I was looking at older photos on my phone, and the red white and blue jello shooters I concocted, and consumed in our garage made me smile.  The crazy things we did, sometimes just ripping south from our place in Alberta for a cross border biscuit and gravy breakfast.  Yummo!

Or ordering almost everything on the menu for a Chinese takeout feast in Port Townsend with cousin Lynn.  A very good day indeed!  Fireworks all down the coast really topped it off.

Today I’m sitting in the sun with a cool and persistent breeze glad to be with friends in Albeeria.  The drive from Creston seemed long.  The traffic at the end of our July 1 long weekend was nuts!  July 1.  Once called Dominion Day, then changed by Prime Minister Pearson to Canada Day and now PM Truedope questioning if there is a Canadian identity at all?  What woke new hell path is this fool leading us down now?  I refuse to play that game, and won’t  sing his new politically correct version of our national anthem or ever call y’all ‘peoplekind’!   Lol but enough of my political rant (for now)

On my travels I saw some cool stuff:  hundreds of motorcycles and about 3 dozen HA’s (when did all the riders get white hair?) a wild turkey and her brood of 5 turklettes, beautiful rugged mountains and curvey highways.  Then arrived at my friends farm with her collection of cats, dogs and horses (and hubby Dave)  

In retrospect a very quiet 4th but we did enjoy a lovely breakfast at the golf course.  And of course ice cream followed 🤪 Now it may be time for a lazy afternoon nap.  Then who knows?? 

The adventure continues!

 

TransCanada Parking Lot: Marlean hits the mainland.

 Did I ever enjoy living in Vancouver?  I recall yes I did, and yes I drove in the city but that my friends was a LONG time ago!  

Allow me to build that back story:   On June 29 i caught the early ferry from Duke Point in Nanaimo to Tsawassen just out of Vancouver.  I had the good fortune to strike up a conversation with a mother and daughter standing in the food line, who were on their way to Williams Lake.  Two very nice women!  

For some reason I was convinced we’d docked on Hwy #1.  Apparently not and the “talking bossy google map lady” kept trying to divertme to routes and streets I was NOT familiar with. I became more and more annoyed and skeptical when I drove for an hour, under the Alex Fraser bridge, then under the Port Mann bridge, then the Patelo bridge…dang it this crazy route took me past Mission, New Westminster, into Surrey….what had I done?  All the while I could imagine Mac in my head tsking and “Jeez Marilyn you’ve done it now” but I was determined!  My long distance adventure was going to work out!

My goal…drive through BC stopping to see friends , 

then into Alberta seeing more buddies…carry on to Montana to crash the Widows Son’s north south rally, then up to Saskatoon etc to see family before heading home.  

When I finally reached Abbotsford, all lanes, both directions were barely moving.  And nose to tail solid traffic.  This O was not expecting!  Its got to get better…but noooo 2 hours to Chilliwack from Vancouver, 2 hours to get thru to Abbotsford….ridiculous!  

Ok first stop the historic Coalmont Hotel.  Its over 100 yrs old in a tiny hamlet, founded on coal and was why the Kettle Valley Railroad (KVR) was built.  Lots of history. 

The landscape is wild and rugged..steep roads up and down the mountains, lots of ATV and Side by Side trails…i had an in depth and potentially scary tour with my friend who’d grown up driving on those roads.  Likely much faster than we travelled that day.

Then hit the road to Creston via Osoyoos. Totally forgetting it was Canada Day aka big local parade day…and the shut down of Hwy #3 east.  

Great.  I drove around for over an hour before a kind soul tried to give me directions to leave town.  Alas I ended up crossing into the United States, very briefly.  Explained I was recently widowed trying to get to Saskatchewan to see my family…gadzooks!  So turn back into Canada where the border guy gave me the stink eye and let me in…by then thankfully the Osoyoos parade was over and I carried on to my destination for the night, the Pair a Dice RV park and campground.  An older place, meticulously maintained and its a good thing I reserved for a couple of nights.  Free hot showers, good wi-fi, and pretty quiet until a train came thru.  And I thought fog horns were loud!

And here I am, impressed by a beautiful full moon, in my comfy camper car, on the road to adventure.  Its odd driving a road I’ve ridden on many times, past Salmo - the ghosts of a past adventure with my darling Mac, the riding partner I adored.  Yup a couple of tears, a lot of smiles and a long conversation as I drove recalling times past. 

Tomorrow its day 5 on my grand adventure.  I will hunt down a grocery store and a fruit stand.  I’ve got a hankering for corn bread and fresh peaches!  And a big pot of coffee.

Sounds from my bedroom window…

 Nearing the halfway mark at end of June, its not hot, per sae, where I live, but may reach 18C on a sunny afternoon.  And warm air above means fog in the early hours.  Thick, pea soupy fog which limits your view.  Well limits my view anyways, which usually is of the ocean and across the water to Malcolm island.  Beyond that lies Broughton Strait dividing us from the mainland.  Its a pretty darn gorgeous view which I enjoy from the comfort of my bed. 

Summer brings tourists and also huge cruise ships.  They are impressive to see when they sail majestically between my house and Malcolm island.  And when they are on the other side, well then they are hidden, and I’m unaware of hundreds of passengers heading to Alaska.  Unless there is heavy fog. 

Its law that they blow their horns in the fog.  And becaise I have an app showing marine traffic (because after all, I want to know whats out there…blame it on being from the prairies🤓) when I hear ‘em, I can identify ‘em.  

Just before 4 this morning I heard what I think of as “the regular fog horn” which isn’t loud but its steady. To me it sounds quieter, reedy, “smaller”.  Not really enough to wake me.  But the Hoooo of a big ship, its unmistakable.  A sound much louder, deeper, substantial.  It echos off surrounding islands, very romantic.   And of course it makes me check on my Marine Traffic app.  What to my wondering ears did appear? Well its the Disney Wonder, followed by the Norwegian  Jewel.  Two beautiful big ships on their way to Ketchican Alaska.  

Whats cool is often on their way south to Vancouver on their return voyage, they sail on this side of Malcolm island.  A few times Ive seen the Disney ship with the mickey mouse ears painted on the funnels, and even heard their ships horn play “When you wish upon a star.”  Now that was a jaw dropper the first time I heard it! 

As these two sailed on, out of site still..i could tell whose horn was whose by their tone.  Its wonderous to hear  sounds of the ocean.  Ships, huge tug boats hauling islands of gravel on barges, fishing boats…including locals setting crab traps just off shore.  Then Mother Nature, never to be outdone, fires up a plethora of bird song, the occasional whale blow, sea lions..its a veritable din!  But for now its mellow.  The smaller fog horn, likely a lighthouse, is all that I can hear.  

A gentle morning has returned, wrapped in fog, luring me back to sleep. 😌🥱😴

This ain't no dress rehearsal folks.

 I love Maddie Please.  A wonderful author who’ve I discovered thanks to my friends at the Milo Book Club.  Let me explain.  The Wine, ‘ er Book Club was a wonderful social group of smart, fun,  creative  women where I used to live. And we actually did read books, and thru them I read The Old Birds Club.  As an over 60 something gal, the characters spoke to me, made me guffaw at times.  It was the kind of read that my dear hubby Mac would say “stop reading, you’re laughing and shaking the bed.  I’m trying to sleep”.  Hey its tough to laugh not out loud. 

And that was it - I was hooked on her writing.  Feel good stories, often with new adventures to be had by daring groups of friends who were mostly my age.  Good fun reads that wouldn’t let me put them down.  

Now were there steamy lusty bits to these books? No shades of grey thank goodness!  But lots of love, romance, wonderful honest and often goofy new encounters .  Women who took a chance, who succumbed to the call of a new challenge, of travels, and relationships.  I guess the characters were so real to me her books were easy to relate to. 

The latest book was set in Tuscany. A Vintage Vacation.   A place that has held my imagination ever since reading Under the Tuscan Sun.  In this book the main character realizes she was not getting younger, and this was it.  Her life.  Why not figure out what she wanted from it and make the most of it.  And that hit me hard.  Ok i may have 20, 25 years left.  If thats The Plan. As a friend told me “this is it, no dress rehearsal “. And I had to stop and ask myself - So just what do I want from those years?  Do I want to be That Widow who watches TV with a beer and her cat on a Saturday night?  Or do I want to push the envelope and step a wee bit out of my comfort zone?

I suspect my upcoming KIA Kar Kamping trip will be a good start at sorting that out!  I’m ready to test my air mattress, my coffee making skills on a one burner stove, and sleeping in the car.  Did I mention I’m a little scared of the dark?  Lol I’m sure Ill be ok, with my flashlight, air horn and bear spray!

Maybe I’ll text Maddie and let her know how I manage! She did friend me on Facebook after all.  Stay tuned. 

I'm off to see the wizard….

 A gorgeous sunny morning here on the Island, and Im doing what John and I said we would do once retired.  Coffee, bagel and cream cheese, hummingbirds abounding, and listening to Donovan while we wake up.  Yup.  A lovely gentle start to a Monday.  

On our catio we have flowers and 2 red lawn chairs with cushions,  very colourful, very welcoming.  Today Casey Cat sat in Johns chair while I enjoyed the music, and the Thrush vied for the most volume while it sang to me.  

We watched hummingbirds, jostling for position at the feeder.  Good thing I made a new batch of food to refill it this morning!  Amazing how much they consume.

Today I head to the Royal Bank 2 hours and a bit to the south to find out how to manage Johns estate.  The lady I made the appointment with sounded nice, lets see if we can get things reorganized so stuff continues copacetically.  Is that a word?  Almost have all the paperwork under control, hoping I feel as optimistic when I get back home!  I’m managing  to keep my head above water, good thing since I never did learn to tread water. Feeling optimistic that  I can handle the road ahead.  

I’m so grateful for all my amazing friends and the love and support I get.  Albeit occasionally Marlean takes over my brain and I forget I’m almost sixtyyacht and I want to go on a Grand Adventure.  🤓.  

Better talk myself down and be calm, cool and collected for the Bank Lady.  Lol  down Wanda, down!😎

Halfway thru 2023…whats next?

 Its June.  Halfway thru the year.  5 months into semi retirement, full time wondering what the universe has in store for me now?

Mornings are slower, no imminent tasks, Casey is pretty easy to please.  Food, treats, a pet and the occasional jaunt to the “catio” to harass the hummingbirds.  Seems pretty simple, shes got her sunny spot to watch the world go by.

As for me, this morning coffee is brought to you by Peace and Quiet.  In bed.  Straining my eyes to see Seven Seas Explorer glide from behind Hanson Island,  I don’t covet a trip on a floating mall, but as my close friends know, I do like an adventure.  

Wouldn’t you know it, I saw a truck for sale!  I could trade me Sorrento and go travel, camp, be self sufficient!  Hmmm the only hitch to my plan was of course Money!  Lol ok, there must be another way.  My dad, Big Al, always had “another way” and perhaps that trait keeps me on this wonky life journey. Mom was never one to step back from a challenge, so maybe its genetic?  And Mac was pretty damn fearless…if I started to doubt myself, he’d accuse me of being a “rough tough cream puff”!  Lol so now, I’m stepping off the ledge taking on a new adventure.

“Adventure - an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous experience or activity”. Sixty seven year old widow wants to travel 5,000 miles alone to see friends!  Yeah I’m up for that.  I confess, I am not immune to wanderlust!  

Having YouTubed “ways to travel on the cheap as a lone woman”, I discovered “camping in a KIA Sorrento”.  Like my Sorrento!  It just had a clean checkup at the latest oil change, brakes are good, tires are fair.  Yes!  I always threatened Mac we could make a bed and sleep in the back of our car…so as you may have guessed, I’m going for it!  $500 on Amazon, which is about $70,000 less than a truck and camper, and I’m pretty confident this will happen.   Now to make a list (I live by my lists these days) I have a partial distraction from dealing with banks and sadness.  I’m still alone.  I will continue to be alone since there is No Way in H-E-double hockey sticks that Casey will be a travelling cat!  Lol 

Checking my Must Have for life on the road: Camp chair, coffee pot, little stove, pillow, comforter, mattress: check on all that and more!  Creating a cozy nest that is a) lockable and b) off the ground is appealing. If I feel unsafe, scootch into the drivers seat and vrooom I’m gone.  Oh dear, what if someone stands in front of the car trying to stop me?  Your 180 lb ass will not be a threat to my 5,738 lbs of steel.  And one pissed off, adrenaline fueled old gal with bad hair! Marlean rides again. 

To be continued

Moving forward - Healing and feeling.

 Anyone in the market for a shiny red Heritage soft tail?  Yes selling the pretty red bike, advertised but oh man there are a lot of Harleys on the market!  My riding days are now officially behind me, since i sold my chaps, gloves and helmet.  Lol well memories are preserved! Now on to make new ones.

My friends and family call and txt me everyday, checking to see if I’m ok.  Which I mostly am.  Mostly.  But now and then, a weak moment.  Its natural.  But one more condescending “well you know there are 5 stages of grief ” is getting a throat punch!  Lol

I even had a moment of “great, now I’m stuck on this fucking island!” One road back and forth, unless i venture  to You-clueless or Stone-fino…little potatoes fav surf spot.  Lol no thanks!

We used to sit and watch shows about narrowboat canal cruising.  It lit the fire in us for wanderlust!  Travel has always been a big draw, providing adventure and new delights!  So to cheer myself up this aft I’ve been checking out ocean and river cruises (may need some lottery wins to do those!) so I will settle for island adventures and the upcoming Montana journey. Researching island wineries I’m amazed at choices!  Maybe a day trip, some retail therapy and a night out of town?  Sounds enticing.  And maybe healing.  Heaven knows I’m feeling pretty gutted…alone is the word that comes to mind.  Alone more than lonely.

I’ve never lived alone. I am not sure I like my own company that much.  However there is a secret weapon afoot.  My lovely furry friend Casey.  Casey who never ever was affectionate except to trill and beg for treats.  To my astonishment and delight she’s become a calm love ball who comes over, curls up on my lap while I watch TV, and purrs.  She’s trying to heal my broken heart.  And I love her for it!  It’s like she knows its now the two of us.  What an amazing intuitive kitty!  She comes to wake me in the morning, she purrs and trills to me as if she’s reassuring me that its gonna be ok.  And oddly, but this all started the day after John died.  She was always his cat, never mine.  She still patrols looking for him.  Yup, animals sense things.  

I had coffee this a.m. and said I cant wait till I can talk about other things than my loss, my heartache and feeling alone.  It will come.  I hope.  But i suspect its going to take a bit of time.  I hope you - my friends - will continue to bear with me.  

Love to all of you. 💚❤️💚❤️

Endless paperword…nothing is simple

 When I first started looking into my dear departed husbands accounts, it quickly became apparent he was complicated.  Yup.  Since I wasn’t smart enough to record all his passwords, or rather I kept the records “in a safe place” it has been less than organized.  In fact, its become a friggin mess!  And yet, my menno-stubbornness prevails!

Once the hurdle of an official death certificate was overcome, it helped a lot.  So proof in hand I made a list - which I promptly lost - only to rediscover it a week later.

Thank goodness for some amazing friends coming to my rescue!  For coffee, for patience - works wonders.  First mom - every day “are you eating.” When she discovered my coffee and chocolate diet.  I mean I was too numb to cook.  Thank you to friends bringing prepared meals , you rock.Now its out to my fav coffee shops for some vittles in the a.m.  Not forever, just for now.

Needing to regain a feeling of control I decided to sell and donate some “stuff”.  To assist John’s long time buddy Bubba came from Vancouver and we tackled our storage C Can.  My my…a Lot of stuff.  In no particular order he discovered 2,436 screwdrivers of all sizes, and 893 hex keys.  Lol.  “Did Mac get a set every time he needed one?”   Perhaps…lol but in his defence  none were in a central location.  So while we sorted “stuff” and I'd exclaim I’d found some…lol he would mutter “damn MacArthur”   Lol but we made progress, he got things organized and now everyone gets screwdrivers as lovely hostess gifts.  Lol

Recently I had advertised “stuff” on Facebook Marketplace.  And stuff sold!  But although I appreciate support should a buyer discover my recent loss and want to hug me Ive had to quickly decline - mostly because hugs from strangers are a bit uncomfortable. Am I hugged out?  No…I just needed a wee break.  

The overwhelming outpouring of kindness has humbled me.  John had so many friends, he’d touch so many lives - all over the world.  Whether his Zoom Masonic brother in Scotland, to messages from Germany, all over the USA and Canada, its been wonderful.  

Today I discovered Ive misplaced (lost is such a nasty word) my sweeties bank card.  Oopsy.  So that creates more work, lol just what I need.  Tomorrow I’m driving south to Campbell River to collect his ashes.  I know it will be exhausting.  So I have decided to book a room to overnight at Painters Lodge.  Its a place we always said we wanted to stay at, and so we will.  

I will survive all of this grief.  It sneaks up on me at the strangest times.  But mostly I am filled with joyous memories.  They give me smiles, warm fuzzies, and for that I am thankful.  

Fair winds and following seas my darling!

In a flash…everything changed.

How fragile is our existence.  Oh we make plans, we laugh, celebrate, comfort each other and take care of each other.  The man I loved, who loved me, and thanked me daily for loving and caring for him is gone.   

John MacArthur who I often refer to as Mac was my hilarious, brilliant, wonderfully stubborn Scot of a husband of 23 years.  From a penthouse in Vancouver, to a row house in Fort Simpson NWT, back to the wide open spaces of southern Alberta and now to a wee townhouse on Vancouver Island its time I have never regretted a moment of it. Thankfully we chose Dawson Creek over the Falkland Islands … more on that another time.

He always said his Gran would scold him, saying “only the good die young, John you’ll live forever.”  Sadly, Gran was wrong.   Legend has it he was a headstrong young man, bearded at  15, up and down the west coast on his motorcycles, breaking rules and hearts.  I’m guessing he had a big grin the whole time! In the late 60’s he hung on Haight Ashbury in Frisco, partied with the Grateful Dead, saw ALL the cool bands.  In the words of Eric Burdon “Jeans of blue harley davidson too, on a warm San Fransico night”.  Oh the stories, I can only imagine the ones he didn’t tell me.

John said me his life was enviable - “I did everything I dreamed of when I was just a boy.”  A logger, a sailor, a policeman, air traffic controller, a Freemason and Widows Son, a Coastal Guardian (lol the Russians Are Coming)…oh and the U.S. Department of State and Australian Government.  Yup…busy man.  He described himself as a Cold Warrior.  Read into that as you may.

But mostly he was a big hearted charmer.  Whether feeding runaways and street kids at Kool Aid in Vancouver, or counselling a health worker as a Human Resources professional,  to working with local miners in Columbia, he really loved to help people.  

He died too early.  Death caught me off guard, we were going to live forever.  He was more in tune with mortality than I, and in retrospect he was helping prepare me to be on my own.  A new computer is waiting, still in a box.  New cookware to make sure I would eat healthy. Fixed the oven so it actually was 400 not 325 .  A good man.  An amazing partner.  

We had many adventures.  Rode our motorcycles all over north America.  Made lots of friends and he knew someone no matter where we went.  On a river cruise through Europe we ended up sharing a dinner table with a couple from the USA.  Turned out both guys were coast guard, and had worked together!  

Today as I read the many condolences received, from all over the world I wept at comments of his generosity, kindness, wisdom and how respected John was.  I am so proud of him.  

My journey will forever be changed.  He left so suddenly, so finally.  I know my adventures  will be written “in a different font” from now on.  As I struggle to stay strong I know his love will remain, and I’m not alone.  My faith is my foundation.  

The motorcycles will be sold, it wouldn’t be the same.  I have no plans to relocate, and Casey the cat and I will adapt to our changed lives.  I am so thankful for all the love and support our friends and family continue to give. 

P.S. speaking of adventure, I’m planning a trip to Alberta and Montana in July.  Girls gotta represent eh.

Miss ya Johnny. Until our next adventure.

April Fool? Whale why Knot! I have a job interview!

 In Feb you’ll recall I suffered with lack o focus, malaise, ennui.  Then March came trotting in.  Oh mad as a March hare?  More like mad as a March herring! Our wee port was over run, biggest herring run in memory…So Big that there was enuff “milt” (look it up) in the sea to change about 100 feet of water off shore to turquoise colour.  Seriously.  These herring are Food for many birds, so one morning dozens of eagles, along with gulls, and many many other seabirds had a feeding frenzy!  It was stunning to see!  Queue Act II:  enter the Sea Lions   Dozens of big, sleek, relaxed Stellar as well as some California sea lions.  Weighing up to 2,200 lbs, they are impressive! The first warning of their invasion was me being awakened by the Ork ork ork and various growls and howls at 2 a.m.  it was wondrous to watch groups of a dozen rolling in a big raft eating herring, like teenagers at a KFC buffet.  Lol 😆 having a birdseye view from our bedroom window was a gift.

While all this was taking place, the bears came out.  How do I know?  Well the night before the sea lions serenaded me, I heard Big Growls from what I can only assume was an angry or impatient mama bear and then the high pitched bleat of a cub, as well as a lot of thrashing in the bushes.  We’ve had bears nearby before, but this was loud, so of course up I jump, shining me handy dandy headlamp out the window.  Of course by this time the family of bruins had moved along.  

Back to ocean life, guess who showed up to the party now?  Yup, a pod of Transient Killer Whales.  These bad boys are ravenous for sea mammals, who feature top of their menu. I didn’t get a glance at the murderous gang of Orca, tho the local whale watcher said they had a feeding frenzy on well fed sea lions.  Yikes!  

A week or so later, the sea lions moved on, as did the herring after laying zillions of eggs on the kelp…we live in a wild kingdom episode! 

During all of this milt, whale and sea lion madness, I applied for an executive director job.  It sounds fascinating…and not related to Muni Gov by any stretch of the imagination.  More like where I worked in Dawson Creek, or at the school in Lomond.  My interview is this week, so now I’m obsessed with finding something to wear.  Lol  yes I know, I was retired.  Lol But the job needs me…and I think it would be a good fit.  Lets see..if I get it..awesome.  If a better candidate gets hired, well I’m already in retirement mode eh?  Play it one day at a time and what’s meant to be…will be! 

Why can’t I just relax?

 Stress it seems, hits different people different ways.  Personally I have a hard time admitting I am stressed so perhaps denial is my initial response.

In the crazy days of the 70’s and 80’s I also added numbing myself with booze and drugs.  Mostly pot, which was a fun distraction.  Ok there was the Shroom phase…but I didn't enjoy them as much as some of my buddies.  

So I stuck to what worked, and as Pink Floyd put it, I had become comfortably numb.  My life however, continued to roll along.  I had jobs, made money, bought houses and cars.  Ok the “cars” tended to be used Pintos and Datsun 510’s.  Of questionable reliability.  And the houses were, in a word, ‘modest’.  Lol. But life was good, I had careers, I moved forward, and became moderately successful.  

Todays stress however is way different.  In fact, dear reader, I am now Retired.  Indeed I have hung up my EcDev designation, and am a haus frau.  Uhuh.  Complete with apron and slippers.  Roflmao 😂 if only! 

Seems my idea of retirement included coffee with the girls, day drinking wine in the sunshine, and leisurely walks.  Instead it meant my husband going for a checkup, and the Dr saying Mr Mac, jokes over. You're 71…time to leave the stress of HR and 6 bosses in 8 months…and retire.  Uhuh.  can you see my relaxed afternoons of listening to the waves and hours of painting pretty pictures fizzle away? 

Well as fate would have it, we are now both on EI.   Luckily we have modest pensions, and agree its time to sell the motorcycles and embrace a slower, more senior lifestyle.  This doesn't mean no more beer and wings with the gang on Fridays…it just means calling it a night at 9 instead of cut off or later!

Happily I continue to train for sleeping in, but am failing at the afternoon nap strategy.  However, I am no quitter and hope to sneak a nap in tomorrow.  Before my chiropractor appointment.  LOL.

I’m thankful we can take little trips around the area, maybe a picnic on the shore…who knows?  Today is 3C with wind…not very nice.  My daffodils bravely are preparing to bloom.  And we are both finding healthier ways to deal with our respective stress.  Even the cat has noticed, becoming more relaxed every day.  

I know once we get through this transitional phase of staying home vs going in to work everyday, we will love it.  Already I am happy not to pack lunches in the morning.  Our friends here are mostly retired, so our schedules match!  Lol it’s opened a whole new world, and I think we’re going to be fine. 

Careful what you wish for…2 old farts and an Ikea Bed.

 When we last blogged…. Oh yes, I was feeling optimistic about my life, retiring, etc etc., hoping Mac would set a date.  Apparently prayers are answered, just not the way we want them to be. 

On Jan 31 I thought I was being sneaky getting hubby to come to Drs office with me, when I was getting my “sick note” for my week off. Lured him in hoping for a cure for his arthritis.   Lol Jokes on me, I got a letter for indefinite time off for health reasons (Doc was nice, didn’t say I was mental…lol) Cool!  

The three of us chatted further, and long story short he told Mac his opinion was Mac needs to retire sooner than later.  Husband has had 6 new CAO’s in 8 months…the stress impacts his arthritis….so now…he’s also retired.  He got a sick note too .

Cue the theme from Love Story…ooooh my.  The dream of months of painting, lounging, binge watching, blogging and walks to the coffee shop on my own schedule are now a bit curtailed as we adjust to full time Stay At Home Old Farts.   😼👵🏻🧔🏼‍♂️

As many of you know, when I get stressed, I tend to act on impulse.  As in act first, think later.  In my defence we had talked about moving out bedroom from the street side of our two story townhouse, to the ocean side of the 2nd floor.  It would be quieter, albeit smaller.  No problem…we sold the bed that was in there the next day.  No to move the night stands and the bed.  How hard can that be?  I moved the nightstands…easy peasy lemon squeezy.  Bedding off…check.  Mattress moved…yup not too tough,  taking the old Ikea bed apart…hey it was bought 20+ years ago so its made of real wood.  No “beaver puke” particle board, no sir. Off with the slats, off with the centre board and the flimsy x thingy.  

Now if you'd met my late father Big Al you could see a family resemblance in the “I have a better way”line of thought.  I concluded if I could put the frame on its side, I could slide it with some weaseling, through the door, then into the other room.  Sounds good right?  

*insert big sigh here.  As fate would have it, that was flawed logic.  Not only would the frame Not Fit through the door frame, it was stuck.  I mean not able to twist, shift, lean or budge in any direction jammed.  Thankfully I was Not stuck in the bedroom!  Lol 

Time for the hex key to take off the headboard and rails.  No hex key set to be found.  Off to the hardware store.  “English or metric?” The nice fella asks?  Dunno. Sell me both.  

Off with headboard, off with the footboard….yay!  Reassembled the frame, feeling confident, I mean this is a good old sturdy bed which we’ve had for over 20 years so its been moved many many times.  And now the stupid thin metal x thing that hold the sides from popping apart enough to derail those slats.  got it! Now just to pop that mattress back on….uhuh.  Being a stubborn Menno I figured strong like bull (smart like tractor) me could simply wrestle it on.  Ok after too much grunting, swearing, moaning, straining, I Have a Better Way got the mattress one corner under the frame, the other upright wedged against the wall…Dammit!  This time I was stuck in the bedroom.  I mean stuck.  With a giant heave ho I managed to get a shoulder under the offending mattress and pushed my way out.  Perhaps I need help?  

Enter our fit and wonderful young neighbor!  With minimal weaseling we got that damn mattress onto the bed.  Kahloo Khalay…bed is made, super comfy sleeps lie ahead.  Or so I thought.

Tune in for another episode of “the bed hates me”…..

Ciao for now 😵‍💫😽

Holy sheep shit…Friday the 13th! Bwahahahahaha. Cough cough

 And as I mentioned previously, things were getting weird in 2023.  Here we were, minding our business, ignoring the rain and wind and fog…my office becoming a little more toxic every day.

So on the 13th my boss calls me in at 1 p.m. and hands me a “we’re cutting your contract short, your last day of work is the 10th.  You get a 4 week without cause working notice”?  Translation:  you get to come in, can’t  start anything new but oh just hang around for 4 weeks then get lost.  WTF?  

Was I surprised?  Not really, its a new year, new budget, new Mayor and they wanna cut costs.  Lolol oooh and no development.  Nothing new, keep it status quo..no body moves, no body loses money.  A big BIG step backwards.  “Oh and don’t tell your coworkers” …give me a break!  Lol I’ve been a manager many times, I’m married to an HR professional, this is Not Kosher!  So, I packed up my personal stuff, and left. Monday I crafted a nice email and updating all the people I’ve been working with .. that got interesting reactions.  Lol and then Wednesday I announced the Town’s decision to end my contract 10 months early to the local Rotary club.  Bazinga!  😂

And this past Monday I figured I was staying home, sick,  this week, and ya know what?  I’m ok.  I am actually happy to be able to make a plan, and know my health - mental health - is most important.  

If this hasn’t happened to you, let me elaborate.  The brain revs up…the money mind pipes up: ok, no more Hello Fresh, the cleaning lady will likely have to go after Feb., and what the heck we’ve been talking about selling our bikes any ways.  😎 savings: almost $2,000 a month. 

We both have pensions, and since I was a member of the group health plan  - we will sign up for a personal plan which they can’t deny us.  😷 Mac has his HR Manager job which, albeit is stupid stressful, is as secure as anything can be these days.  I am encouraging him to pick a retirement date…once those bikes are sold and gone.  

On the north island there are lots of opportunities for contract work and so if we want to stay in the game, on a slower pace, we can.  Yeah we’re old, but we have boatloads of skills…we can travel, we have contacts out here…we’ll be good. 🤓

When hubby and I talk about retirement we ask: can we retire here?  For now, the answer is yes.  We’ve got a nice little place to live, we don’t  have to mow grass or shovel snow, the community has whatever we need (except for decent Chinese food) and we have started reconnecting as well as making new friends.  And good Chinese food (and Indian food) is just a day trip away!

Yup, I wanted to retire, but couldn’t commit.  Now I don’t have to make the decision, and I am applying for “something to keep me out of trouble” this weekend.  

What a life!  I am a lucky woman, we’re a lucky couple!  

Happy Robbie Burns day y’allq…Slainte 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

2023. Who would have guessed eh

 I will chalk up 2022 as one of the weirdest years so far.  Hell I'm 67 now, working and on north Vancouver Island, surrounded with the woke and the left.  Good lord I was hoping to be in my second year of retirement, painting, having coffee and watching boats and birds.  Maybe a nice walk in the morning, reading off the patio in the p.m.  oh yes and eating more leafy greens, perhaps forage some wild mushrooms?  Oh yes, its good to dream.

Reality: hubby and I both still in harness, working 5 days a week.  We are definitely comfortable in our wee town, tho it seems to be stuck in a time warp, like so many small island towns.  Times they are a changing and so must we.

Example number one:  the government in their wisdom, has legalized pot.  So now I hold my tongue when people talk about going home and smoking a joint, “yeah I got stoned last night” conversations in the workplace.  Lol Sheesh I'm no prude but I sure feel old..thanks to years of “those” conversations being reserved for somewhere private.  Or in the bar!  Not any more, and im often regaled with a cloud of skunk weed smoke when I walk from my car to the apartment.  Yup.  So much for being an outlaw, I’m feekin’ old.

Example number two:  everyone else is getting old, and worse they’re dying!  OK exception to this rule is Keith Richards.  Who apparently is rockin on forever.  Kind of depressing at times, but tis the way of the world.

And finally number three - although I’m sure I could go beyond: my country is in the crapper.  Through shite leadership, and printing of money like we’re in a monopoly game and China is the banker, seems we are sliding thru a recession into the arms if a depression.  Groceries, gas, cost of living shooting skyward, and no relief in sight.  Makes me glum. 

Having survived the Covid, and watching people struggling with depression and panicking, loss of health care, etc etc its not a surprise the Feds answer is “but we’ve made it so much easier for people to end their lives.”  Jesus wept!  Is this what I have to look forward to in 2023?  

Actually, no.  We have a roof over our heads and it may be wee, but its comfy and warm.  We have a kooky fat cat who is endlessly entertaining and not demanding.  We have friends - old and new - who lift us up as we lift them up!  And as I often say “no body’s shooting at us.” 

So I’m not giving up on the year to come.  My husband said this morning “its going to be a great year, just watch”, and that heartens me.  To all our friends out there, aging along woth us - 😜 Happy New Year!  We made it this far, onwards!

Yup