A second full moon, and one less molar!

 The evening Mac died, he made me promise to take care of my teeth.  Sounds weird, but he seemed adamant, and since the offending molar had broken three times, mercifully without much oain, and after cancelling my appointment and rebooking twice, I had the dirty deed done yesterday.  Oh it was a gooder, a curved root, not much for Doc to grab onto so it was mega frozen, then wiggled, broken, cut and finally out in 4 pieces.  Dang. That meant after I thawed, my jaw, neck and head were sore but the tooth was gone!  Today I am much better, on

I needed two tylenols yesterday, none today, and felt good enuff to carefully eat a bagel (with cream cheese and a cuppa tea) in the words of Gloria Gaynor “I will survive”. 

On the 23rd the Celebration of Life was just that: a celebration.  With very good friends who came from Alberta, Vancouver and Victoria, as well as his Masonic brothers and some Port McNeill buddies, it was wonderful, and Mac would have enjoyed it.  And afterwards, a sense of peace came over me, and many of his friends.  It was the closure we were seeking, and God filled my heart with joy.  

As I reflected on this past month, I decided it was time to keep moving forward and so enter Amazon, and three new maps ordered!  Even though I’m not 100% sure where I'm off to, I am 100% sure a long drive is in the stars!  Definitely to The Widows Sons N/S run in the Crowsnest in July, then who knows? Perhaps a stop first and set up in the Cypress Hills?  I’m hoping camping in Wisconsin  with an old girlfriends  to rehash our silly past exploits, then look up friends in Illinois and  farther south.   

While I was pondering future adventures, I stumbled across one of Johns journals.  Gorgeous, hand made pages, leather bound and sadly the first entry was made 4 days before he died.  A somber reminder, and to me an inspiration to continue my journey and record places, people and adventures, and in a small way always taking a part of him with me.  

“The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began.  Now far ahead the road has gone, and I must follow, if I can.”J.R.R. Tolkien

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Wake up Marlean, you’ve got things to do!

 Wow that last blog was sad.  I honestly think I had bottomed out.  And now, having read some really inspirational stuff, having let it sink in that he’s not coming back, and that that I need to move forward - I do believe I'm Okay.  Actually, I’m doing good! 

Ok I must be a bit slow on the uptake at times, but it hit me:  this is now my life.  I love having new challenges, I love being retired, and I can travel!  People keep asking me how I’m doing, today I answered Great!  Because I know in my heart of hearts that a ton of new as well as familiar experiences await me.  

It was “the wee small voice” reassuring me that this too is part of The Plan. I am not alone, and I have faith that more will unfold as it should. Faith gets me through life, why would I not trust it now?

So always one to grab a challenge, my fall months are rapidly getting busy right into winter. Macs celebration of life is happening in two weeks.  He loved to feed his friends so we start the afternoon with pulled pork, Carolina Style!  It will be great to share some memories and laugh with friends old and new. 

November his nephew and new wife are having a gathering to celebrate their recent wedding in the Philippines, so I’m heading to Surrey for a big party - Philippine style!  Can’t  wait.  And in December I’m off to Mexico with my sister.  Mac would be proud, and of course remind me to behave.  Lol

I continue to plan another summer road trip in Wanda, and so I’m going to take a few days to test the new car camping capabilities. Wanda will shine! Since I’m retired, I don’t have to wait for the weekends!

Else wise, I have been cooking meals (eating all that beef and chicken in the freezer) and trying to wean myself off of takeout, beer and cookies.  The struggle is real!  However I don’t want to struggle with my new bathing suits when we hit Puerto Vallarta eh.?  

I have even been researching a move in spring.  When and If  I finally do decide to relocate possibly back to the flatlands (Mac called it the Motherland) there will be many household items and furniture for sale!! Everything I keep has to fit in the car and on the roof rack,  Even Casey!  🙀

So with a joyful heart I look forward to this month.  September, with that amazing full moon, the smell of fall in the air, and new winter tires on the horizon.  Camping will be chilly, good thing I have just the things to wear.  New day, new me. 

“God has a path for your feet to follow, a plan for your heart to discover and a purpose for your life to fulfill.”  

I can’t argue with that!

Cooking for my darling….

 Over the past 4 months cooking has fallen by the wayside.  I haven’t had much of an appetite except for chocolate, cookies, beers and wine.  Not the major food groups . Though Chips Ahoy would be on the cusp, just because they are soooo delicious. 

Oh I have made the odd attempt, Eggos for breakfast, a scrambled egg here and there.  Heck I even baked up 4 croissants from frozen dough this a.m.  That may have spurred me on to make a fantastic dinner!

Chicken fried golden crispy, a plethora of amazing fresh veggies sautéed, then the whole she ang seasoned and baked for 90 minutes.  The house smelled fantastic.  The chicken was perfect, the veggies were tender and so flavourful.    

So tonight I set the table, ate from china plates, and had a perfect chilled glass of Reisling to accompany the meal.  And said aloud Oh John, you would have loved this. 🥲 And I know in my heart of hearts, he would have. 

These are the times I really miss him. Desperately.  When my heart is breaking, and I cant help but cry.  When someone says oh “you are so strong” some days I want to scream “No I’m in more pain than you can imagine!” 

But I carry on!  He would have wanted me to.  To find joy in the beauty of a sunset, to laugh at silly jokes, to pray and have faith.  It ain’t easy but I know it will get better.   Have courage! 

Now I sit with a full belly, a tear and a lump in my throat, and I’m not gonna cry.  My cat knows how I feel, even though she’s hell bent on biting me these days.  I chalk it up to the coming autumn and a case of cabin fever. 🥴

Soon its September again.  Friends will celebrate his life on the autumnal equinox.  Weather will chill, and me and the cat will get out warm blankets and maybe hot chocolate.  

This week the North Island woke to booming thunder.  A rare occurrence up here.  And boy o boy did it remind me of my home on the prairies.  Oh it was no window rattling Alberta t-storm, but it was decent!  And it filled me with hope that some day I’ll return to where my roots are.  I know I will find a way, just not right now.  But it will happen 😎

In the words of Bruce Lee Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.

Come on Wanda, the open road calls!

 “I may not know where I’m going but I sure know where I’ve been.  These words keep rolling around my brain, urging me to get a map, and start planning my 2024. 

I guess its simple to say I’ve been around.  As far west on the continent north of the 49th to as far east off Newfoundland.  On a motorcycle.  All sorts of weather, all kinds of roads…the Pennsylvania turnpike for example:  as bumpy as the frost heave across Nfld.  Loose shale on the last leg to the Grand Bay Stomp (oh now that’s a tale for a few brews another time) Low flying airforce buzzing us as we traveled through White Sands, after avoiding street dogs in Mexico. And my first totally solo trip in a “cage” …to Montana and beyond!

Travelling reasonably long distance by car, or “cage” as the hard core riders call it (or over enthusiastic HOG members would say) is not something I’ve been that familiar with.  Okay yes in 1974 I did travel and not alone, to Mexico from Saskatchewan in a Datson 510 which had been purchased for $250 and a few beer.  Another blog, another day. Lol 

But this summers KIA kar kamping trip was basically to get my head on straight and say goodbye to my darling spouse following his sudden death. Now as fate would have it, the KIA actually belonged to him.  And then to his estate.  So I’ll bid it adieu and now need a vehicle for myself.  That I'll own.  And this means Vehicle Shopping.  Which also translates to A Long Time in the Dealership.  

Three and a half hours south of me was an advertised Dodge Grand Caravan.  Older for sure, but in my price range.  Or so the online ad claimed.  Alas, said van had been in a wreck and had not been sufficiently repaired.  So was not, as claimed, for sale or financeable.  Drat! After much searching and discussion, some cold coffee and Timbits, another candidate came forward!  My new to me, 2015 Dodge Journey.  An appropriately named model! And she’s lovely!  Lots of room to convert into my shangrila on wheels.  Shiny black with super clean interior.  And unlike a KIA Soul I bought brand new, this one has A/C, cruise, and an actual spare tire!!! Luxury.  Mac would approve. 😃 I shall name her “Wanda”.  Its the first time I've ever actually named any vehicle, Ever!   Apparently I’m entering a new phase in my life.  

So Wanda and I shall venture forth to see new sites, and share adventures for many years, I hope.  Having lots of cargo space, and my recently purchased roof top carrier, should a move arise she will do nicely.  I’m even considering having a hitch put on her in case I get a small trailer.  Who knows where we’ll wander!

I keep watching youtubes made by women who wander big time, sometimes saying they weren’t homeless, they were houseless.  With todays tough economic environment apparently us young seniors are choosing a nomadic lifestyle more and more.  Interesting!  The movie Gypsyland has been recommended, so I’ll watch that.  

Until then it seems my very snoopy cat has opened the drawers on my dresser, and managed to slither behind them.  Now trapped, rattling around, causing me to go on a rescue mission that involves moving furniture, dropping f bombs and making a big mess.  Oh life is never dull.  

Catchya on the rebound.  P.S.  I am not taking the aforementioned Cat travelling with me.  😂 

 

 

“I haven't been everywhere, but its on my list.”

Ah Sunday on the couch with the cat.  It’s becoming a habit.  Have a coffee, today peaches and muffins for breakfast.  Very yummy.  Cold pizza for lunch, again no cooking involved. It should be relaxing, listening to the birds, checking the ‘net, deciphering messages.  Telling myself to get up and get stuff done.

Maybe make a list!  I can check off what I have accomplished, remind myself what needs to be completed, or even started.  

Speaking of started, the Studio project is well in hand!  Shelves moved, dvd’s and cookboks sorted, and I now have room for the guest bed:  a queen size inflatable.  Progress!  

One bank has been dealt with, two to go:  this gives me hope!  Kitchen is clean, papers organized and mostly off my table. Kahloo kalay!  Heck I even vacuumed and swept.  

So why am I still feeling so unsettled?  Restless?  Its a weird state of mind.  My sister and I are working on a plan to head to Puerto Vallarta in December.  A good plan, since Christmas will be tough this year. (And likely for many years) I am excited about this plan!  I always am up to wander, to have an adventure  and see new places.  On the down side its a few months away and I am keeping calm and not yet dragging out my suitcase!  Lol tho I know what Im taking. 😎 another list!

These days my mind is working overtime while I remain physically inactive.  Hard to explain.  In one moment I’m pondering a move, to another place, with or without my belongings?  Start from scratch or pack it all into a U haul?  Take my cat or rehome the sweety?  I want to be comfortable, at the same time I’m considering living out of my car.  Lol set up house in a new place, or go sit on a porch pontificating over a couple of brews with a distant friend?  Or just settle here, but do I really want to die on this island?  My thoughts are all over the place.  It kind of tires me out mentally.  Lol More lists!

Keep yourself busy is the advice I am given.  So for now Im helping with the upcoming Fall Fair, working on the upcoming Celebration of Life, and prepping the house.  I have lots to do, but I'm lazy and easily distracted.  On Youtube its easier to sit and watch a couple camping in the wettest possible location in Russia.  Lol their inflatable tent and neat gizmos are fascinating.  

One thing for certain, I will keep traveling as I can afford it.  So far so good, and there are some cool places on my list.  😎 cant wait!

Please leave a message…blah blah blah

 Its Friday.  And since returning over a week ago my phone is oddly silent.  Nary a ring a ding.  Does this mean I’m disconnected?  Alas disconcerted, disappointed, disillusioned and frankly disgusted!  I leave my phone numbers (multiple) and voice messages clearing stating my contact information and the reason for my call.   🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗 Crickets.  Nothing.  Big sigh.  Patience Marlean, its a process.  The banks will eventually return your call.  Arghhhh.  Its a test!

Now for my fans who really know me, patience is not a word in my vocabulary.  Oh I try.  I no longer honk my horn at other drivers who are slightly slow on the gas.  I don’t ever tap my fingers on the counter when waiting for service.  I can even wait for a meal or a coffee to be served. But its a struggle.  However this  week its the least of my problems. 

I returned home only to get a dang cold!  Yup, sore throat Sat night, oh its nothing a little orange juice cant fix.  Sunday it was deep in my chest, coughing my face off…this was The Thing , I  heard later, which was zipping around town.  I ended up on my back, in bed, for 4 days.  Oh sure fever, aches, it was a delight,  I think in my defence I got run down being all “miss socialite” for the previous 4 weeks.  

It is tough when a person like myself, with no patience, gets sick and laid low.  And its humbling.  My friends are here for me, and I am too damn stubborn to ask for the help they offer!  

.Learning to accept advice, and good wishes, and love from friends has been a big lesson for me.  Throw in some weak weepy moments, I thank all my friends and family near and far for keeping me on the long slow road to feeling okay again.  Which mostly I am!  I do slip into binge watching mindless crap on TV, leaning on junk food and perhaps a beer here and there.  And providing me with the mental energy to laugh, plan more travel and consider where I’ll end up living once the dust settles.  These are no small tasks.. my friends are awesome.

Tomorrow my very good friend, my Led Zep sister invited me for a pre farmers market breakfast.  😎🌞 She’s been there done that and is a tiny woman with more energy than you can shake a stick at!  How wonderful to know her.  I have a friend who I chat with regularly  from the southern US who  reminds me to write, and paint, and seek ice cream!  A plethora of great people…too many to name.  This is what gets me energized and moving forward.

I don’t want to get all maudlin and down.  I did kind of struggle not to break down at the flower shop, getting stuff for the upcoming Celebration of  Life (September 23)  but remembered an inappropriate joke, about throwing the flowers from the casket into the crowd to see who catches it.  Who’s next.  Oh dear, its the stress…lol  The ladies at the flower shop didn’t laugh near as hard as I did.  🤭

And tomorrow I am determined to get my studio to the point where I will paint!  And at least move the new computer stuff into the office.  Like eating an elephant, small bites. Its the August Long Weekend, traditionally one with lots of laughs, mosquito bites and sunburn.  This year its perhaps a bit muted, but I will prevail.  

Mexican food, great scenery and the Northern Cascades: I love it!

 And its back into the USA again, into beautiful Washington.  Mountains and super tall trees pretty much took my breath away.  A friendly border guard asked where Id come from, and well you know me - the long version.  He said “sorry for your loss.  Thats a long goodbye”.  I reckon about 5,000 km in total, or 3,100 miles.  4 weeks on the road and to be honest, I could do it again!  

So I made it to Winthrop where I’d been dreaming of Mexican food.  Alas the labour shortage had hit and he was closed, no wait staff.  That is so common nearly everywhere I went! Rolling westward along the Skagit river the weather was glorious, and I had breakfast near the Diablo dam.  Pancakes and bacon, really decent coffee and a chat with two outdoorsy guys who it turned out had been camping for over a month.  They were engineers, and said because of the unusually warm summer and increased snowmelt the waterfalls in Yosemite were outstanding!  Apparently there are a lot of mountain goats in the area, but I didn’t see them,  however I did snag a great tshirt at the visitor info centre “Got Goats.”  Ok that is a bit of an inside joke between me, Mac and my mom.  He’d say “your mother promised me a dowry of 100 goats, don’t speak to me of goats…” in his best Russian accent.  

My destination was Port Townsend, and to get there I took two really really high bridges onto Whidby Island.  The bridges are at the tip of Deception Pass, super scenic and as I stood there looking out, I made the mistake of looking down.  OMG so that is vertigo!  I had to slowly and very deliberately back to grab my car…it was spooky!  Then two F15s flying in close formation came over the bridge - very exciting, Whidby Island is a Naval Air Station.  

It’s also home to I’m assuming a lot of Mexican Americans, since the radio station I tuned into had excellent tunes and the restaurant El Cazadore I enjoyed Carne Asada - a generous helping for sure! 

Port Townsend is where Macs cousin Lynn lives. Seeing her was a blast, and we had a huge dinner, complete with blueberry pie and ice cream which pretty much finished me off for the night.  Bonus: I got to meet her corgi Dax. Then off to my motel to sleep and prep for a 5 a.m. up and attem to go to the Port Angeles ferry terminal.  I made it into the standbye lane, as all three morning sailings were fully booked, and phew I made it onto the Black Ball Ferry to Victoria.  A really friendly bunch of Nebraskans were also waiting, and we chatted about bbq, brisket, guns, and “current affairs “.  We aren’t that different when it comes down to it.  

Of course the google map voice was of no use to me, so I lived up to my nickname “wrong way” but eventually found the TransCanada, and slowly chugged out of the city and once past Goldstream Park, where all sense of acceleration seems to be lacking,  I headed north!  Grabbed a sandwich at Timmies and an iced coffee, and there was no stopping me!  Ok one gas stop where the price was a shocker once more.  Lol and onward!

By 5 p.m. I was home. The end of a long drive indeed! The cat was very excited to see me, and I was happy to sleep in my own bed for the nite!  It was weird coming home to an empty house.  The joy of seeing so many friends and family, and hearing the love for Mac makes it easier to live with.

A solo trip for 4 weels was a test of my strength, and a way to honour my favorite guy.  So many places brought back wonderful joyous memories.  He’d have loved it.  And now its time to soldier on, deal with the bank (arghhh) and continue to make my new life. And definitely plan the next road trip adventures!  

Until the next voyage 🤓