Oh give me a home…🎵

🎶 one of the sweetest sounds in nature, clear, joyful, with a volume that spoke of its enthusiasm is the Meadowlark.

And this bright sunny morning it was singing its heart out, competing with a chorus of Robins.  What a great way to greet my day.

Well dear readers, its been a year since my Mac departed on “the journey from which no man returns”.  I thought I would melt into my sorrow.  Diminish, find no hope, no joy in life.  But, apparently the Lord had other plans for me. And following my heart and what I knew deep down I needed to do, I moved back to the prairies.  I am so grateful I did!

Casey -  my fat cat, and I are almost totally unpacked.  What I can’t  find, is the power cord, keyboard, mouse and backup power supply for my computer!  Never fear, I will continue to search.  

And now, I’m in my cozy abode, had my first overnight visitor, made new friends, reunited with long time friends, and am loving my new home.  Dare I say? I am happy!

This morning when I woke up, I thought, “wonder what time Mac will be home?”.  Strange, but not strange.  Yes, I am meeting people, but he is always around.  I miss the big dude, miss sitting beside him watching tv, listening to music.  But as I move forward on this new road, I think he’d want me to have fun, go out, laugh and celebrate! 

I told a good friend I was considering joining the Seniors centre here:  exercise equip, a cafeteria, classes, a community,  His response?  “Seniors?  You are way too immature to be a senior!”  Lol.  Although when I look in the mirror first thing in the morning, and don't recognize the old gal looking back, I think he's right!

So now in my new city, I go for lunch once a week, and dinner on Fridays with “the crew”.  Its fun, they are really nice people!  Very interesting people, and they look out for me.  Thru this past year my circle of support has grown.  I drop in for cinnamon buns and bagels, get in invited for lunch, or ice cream.  Its great! And makes me feel vital and alive.

I’ve definitely changed over the past year, becoming more self reliant and occasionally brave.  Asking for a table for one is no longer crushing.  I’ve been so long out of the “dating scene” that a man opening the car door for me, or asking if I’d like to meet for an ice cream sundae is absolutely thrilling!  Things that were important in the past, have shifted.  My mental well being is now first and foremost, heck I sang Karaoke for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago!  New day, new me?

 Yup, and I don’t feel guilty for having fun.  Ok I may scold myself over another mega ice cream bar…lol but I’m happy.  And I deserve to be.  Looking forward to the road ahead, and whatever that holds.

 “At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.”

Back in Alberta again

🎶 Oh Country roads, take me home….it is so good to be where’s sunshine, warm breezes, but honey, I had to work for it!

As previously blogged, we left on a cool wet late morning headed for Nanaimo.  The weather forecast:  Snow.  Ok, I deserved to hit some shite weather.  Looking back when Mac and I journeyed to the Island, it too was in February.  And yes, the weather was not on our side!  “But,” I convinced myself, “this time it will be different.”  And yes my friends, it was.  Rainy to Nanaimo, we stayed at the pet friendly  The Spot, all renovated, very comfy, and Miss Murder Mittens was delighted to be released from her kennel.   

Ah the kennel.  How else does one transport an 18 lb ball of fur.  And claws. (Which thankfully I’d just had trimmed) I’d bought a large hamster type waterer for her, made a small but efficient litter box, a bowl of nibbles, and her fave blankie.  She should have adored it.  And well she may have except for one tiny hitch:  getting her in the kennel was a major struggle!  I’m sure my neighbors in the motel thought I was skinning her, judging by her loud protests.  First morning:  I was pouring sweat, ready to weep and leave behind.  After 4 attempts, I was victorious.  And off to the ferry we went!  We arrived in Vancouver at the tail end of rush hour.  And fuelled up on the island, I joined the throngs, and slowly made it thru the city in the rain.  The cat by now was asleep, or silently planning her revenge.  Didn't matter, I was hoping to get to Creston.   

Hope is not just a city on the way to Hwy 3, The Crowsnest Highway. It was what I felt as we made tracks east, in snow and rain.  The car was running great, I was confident, I’d had winter tires put on early Oct, and traffic was light. Now the road to Princeton, the next town on our route, is definitely mountainy.  The whole or majority of BC was windy, travelling beside a river, and over a few passes.  When I got to Princeton, spying an A& W it was time to pull in for a bathroom break and some lunch.  Checked on the cat - yup still grouchy.  But, the weather!  It was dusty, warm, windy complete with tumble weeds!  Not what I expected.  So onward to Creston!  And over the hump, into a bit of rain and snow.  Then more snow.  A brief delay as a wrecker was trying to pull a semi out of the ditch, ok, now we’re into winter conditions.  

I went over Allison Pass at one point, it was snow packed and slick.  Not a lot of traffic.  Then over Bonanza Pass…. Yeesh!  Also known as Blueberry-Paulson pass, it had a lot of snow coming down.  No traffic.  No tracks, and whats this?  Little rocks which had come down off the Big Rocks…. Keeeep going Marlean, no time to freak out, just stay calm, stay steady, we’ll be fine.  I admit, it was tense, no time for any errors, but I could hear in my mind Mac telling me “you’re doing great honey, you’re doing great” so onwards.  Eventually we came to Osoyoos, a few hours short of my planned stop in Creston.  It was again warm, windy, dry, no signs of winter.  Ok we stop here!  I pulled into Windmere Motel, a pet friendly place.  So nice!  Super clean, comfiest bed and pillows, perfect!  And reasonable, under $110. Released the cat, ordered some food, cracked a cold one, yay! 

The next morning:  struggle with the cat (just be quick before she realizes whats happening) grab a McBreakfast and skeedaddle.  Over Anarchist Pass  we came down again with, you guessed it, snow and rain.  By now I was in my groove, with Cranbrook as the destination only 5 and 1/2 hrs away.  Sure.

We continued on the Crowsnest, till gassing up at Salmo.  The trip had some truly emotional memories, Salmo in particular.  So many roads, restaurants, and motels we’d stopped at, spent a night, yup there were a few sniffles.  And some smiles and laughs.  We’d had amazing rides through this area!  But, after fuelling up, I couldn’t figure out whether to turn or continue straight.  Consulting Gargle Maps, it said go left.  Who was I to argue?  Just a minute!  What the h-e- double hockey sticks!  I was in Nelson.  Capital of hillbilly hippies.  Jeez, the Gargle Map led me to WTF a ferry terminal?  Suddenly I was parked, twixt a van (of course) and a 4x4 full of skiers.  This wasn't Creston!!! After politely asking the BCFerries lady why I had been steered to one end of Kootenay Lake, she said “Oh the highway is closed, there was an avalanche in the Kootenay Pass, likely wont be clear till tomorrow.  The ferry takes you to Creston.”  And it did.  

So after a 90 minute wait, a half hour boat ride, it was onwards!  We got to Cranbrook by 6 and checked into The Flamingo Motel.  Unassuming, clean inexpensive and ordered the worse chinese takeout ever.  4 bites and in the bin.  Next time, its KFC. However, that Friday morning, I discovered if I tuck Cranky Cat’s right leg against her body, she cant grab the kennel, and in she went. Victory was mine! A few hours later the famous Crowsnest Pass: and I see sunshine, a dry highway, blue skies for miles!  Setting the cruise control for Onwards, tunes cranked, made it to the Hat, found my apartment, got a key, off loaded my gear and the cat and to on to our wonderful friends The Campbells.  For a great visit, a chat and some beers, and a wonderful sleep!  Sandy fried up his homemade square sausage and after a few coffees and some more visiting, I made it to my new home!  Blew up the air bed, set up my camping table and folding chair, I am home! 

My furniture arrived a few days later, he too had a “fun drive” since the day I left, a few hours later the skies opened and 5 inches of snow fell, causing my driver to eventually be storm stayed in Parksville. 

Now I’m almost unpacked, living room, bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, are for all intensive purposes set up.  The spare bedroom: work in progress but looking more organized every day. Ive met some incredibly friendly people already, thanks to Sandy and Marion inviting me to join their lunch and Friday night crew. And very nice folks who live in the apartment.  Along with 264 dogs, lolol 

The sun and big skies are healing.  I thank God every day for getting me here safely and for steering me to this place to live.  

So now three days to spring, officially.  And in the “way of the MacArthur” we’re supposed to get snow 🤣😱 Hey, its Alberta! 

I

Over the Rockies and far away I go….

 At last, a cure for this endless non stop gloomy rain and wind.  Yes dear reader a solution is at hand…I’m a-gonna move back over the Rockies, off this soggy albeit beautiful island and return to Alberta!

This decision was not made lightly, in fact I’ve been waffling “should I or shouldn’t I” for months, truth be told.  Port McNeill has been good, lovely people, now I’ve been getting out and about a lot more its grown on me.  And this weekend I heard a lot of Nooo dont leave, but leave I must.

You see I am a prairie lass.  Born on the flat lands, loving the big skies, the rolling hills, its beautiful.  When I travelled through Montana and Alberta last year I found I was teary, breathless at the blue skies, the wispy feathered clouds, and THE BIG YELLOW THING IN THE SKY!  🕶🌞

Vitamin D, which I faithfully take every day, is what my old self needs - I’ve noticed how good it makes me feel, energized, calm, it connects me with Me!  So here, should we get 20 minutes of sun, the cat and I hustle outside, grab a lawn chair, and soak it up.  Mexico was like a balm for my soul…healing, warming, calming,  wonderful.  And lets face it, I am a land mammal.  A flatlander, from “the people of the ow.”  So over the Rockies I shall migrate!  

Life here has been splendid, I mean the scenery, the view out my window is majestic.  When its not foggy, rainy, gray and gloomy. Nothing is better than watching a full moon rise, reflecting on the ocean.  Cruise ships are stunning.  But a water person, I am not,  My sign may be a crab, but its obviously a land crab!  Lol 

So ever the ambitious adventurer, I have given notice to my landlady, put 90%of my housewares and furnishings on FB marketplace, sold most of it, and attacked the flotsam and jetsam Mac and I accumulated.  7 bookshelves.  Yes 7.  Thats a Lot of books …some not sellable, out of date, many hauled to a church bookstore, and a few kept.  Office supplies anyone?  I donated the copier to a deserving charity, kept my personal computer and sold the desk, chair, etc.  The flat has been rented as of March 1, the new tenant bought most of the furniture, seems everyone wanted a portable dishwasher, and small freezer.  

Today I had the good fortune of selling my hunky bill’s perogy maker - to an elder from the G’wasala First Nations - Macs last employer.  What a gift, to have tea and cookies with this nice lady and her husband, and to hear how they appreciated Macs kindness and patience, it was such a heartwarming honour. 

A fresh start will be good for me.  Clearing out old stuff that was just “stuff” is hard work, nerve wracking and scary.  But the end result is I feel good about this - what I’m guessing will be my final move.  Unless of course my lottery tickets come thru for me!  Lol 

Me and Casey aka Miss Murder Mittens have an apartment on the 4th floor in a building with an elevator, all the appliances I need and lots of good friends!  I’ll have all sorts of restaurants and shopping should I need it, and 40 minutes from Cypress Hills.  And today I finalized my mover, which is a relief.  Move date: Feb 28th.  So I’m in full moving madness mode, making great progress and glad the office pack up/purge is behind me! 

Look out people of the cow, I am on my way home.  🐂🐎🦨🦖🦉

How Grey Was My Valley?

 Ok its 2024, and since my return to the sunny island in the Pacific, I think its rained 19 out of 21 days.  Indeed we seem to be caught in continuous weather warnings.  

Its like Meteorologist Mikey has just started to make stuff up.  It is an El Nino its a Polar Vortex!  Its a tropical river, or some such new woke term.  We used to call it Winter.  cold spell.  Rain.  Or even Rainy . And  hot dry spell.  Nope, not anymore.  It makes me feel old and out of touch.  Which apparently I have become! Lol.  

One goal achieved:  I cleared up my spare bedroom, now have a bed!  So thats a good thing, more work than I anticipated.  Now to finish up the office.  Yikes.  First item: get rid of stuff that has no use.  So into the dumpster went about 18 framed documents/certificates that neither Mac nor I will ever gaze upon again.  My computer is up and running, which is awesome since I found a plethora of music I feared I’d lost!  And the computer Mac bought but never hooked up was quickly sold and shipped away. Slow but sure its going to become my room!

Today however I only managed to hang a new calendar up in the office.  And put a few books back on the shelf.  So small victories, but victories none the less!  Rome wasn't build in a day.  

Oh and did I mention the ceaseless wind…  ceaseless in its determination to wreck and ruin my catio fence!!! I did manage to resurrect it…and a friend is bringing me some rebar to reinforce it.  Lol  so now Casey can go outside and glare at her surroundings.  Mostly at the hummingbirds, who continue to ckme to my now thawed feeder. I’ve been using zip ties to fasten it to the fence, which last about 4 minutes against a 70 kph wind.  Sheesh.  Paracord it is!  Lets see if it holds thru the night, fingers crossed!

Tonight its hamburger and cabbage soup, likely so,e other junk food, and looking for something interesting on the boob tube.  5:41 p.m. and its totally dark, windy and wet outside.  Sigh.  Tomorrow is another day!  This coming weekend is the Robbie Burns dinner at the local Legion.  I’m so looking forward to it, praying a couple of bearded kilted Scots will be there! I’ll raise a dram to Mac, shed a tear and toast to the coming year.  

Slainte!

Ola Mexico!

 I am blessed.  My isiter invited me to join her in Mexico for a week, at a 5 star all inclusive resort and Oh But its lovely here! 

I flew from the Vancouver Island to Calgary, then to Puerto Vallarta,.where I’d meet Sister.  The flights were ok, but full, but nothing prepared me for arrival at the airport in Mexico!  We’re talking mega crowded, organized confusion.  After an hour I made it thru security, and hooked up with sis in a bar where I was immediately fleeced by the waiter. Ok, that was a lesson, now I know…lol

 Yeah, cabbed to the resort, and then…the vacation was on!   Wow! wonderful staff, easy check in, but wait….we reserved a room with two queen beds, and there was one California King bed.  We are adaptable, and that bed is huge! So no problemo. Hung up my clothes, and off we go for cervesa. Not sure that was spelled correctly.  Also learned how to spell tequila.  A lot. 😋

The food here must compare to a cruise ship…there is a Lot and a massive variety.  Breakfasts were super good.  Fresh fruit, traditional Mexican delights…bliss! There are a selection of restaurants and bars on site, so we could spend a whole day just eating and drinking around the place.  Which we did the first day here.  😎

An hour at the spa I was as relaxed as a boneless chicken, perfect!  I came here to get rid of some of the past 7 months of stress. So far, so good!

This place has a lot of people.  Many pools, weddings every night, all sorts of people.  There seem to be a lot of Canadians, and so far I've met 8 from Van Island.  Nice folks, amazed on with my capacity for Charo Negro…tequila, lime and coke.  Yummers. 

Flew back on the 24th, on a Dream Liner…very nice comfy flight.  5 hr layover in Calgary ended up with me releasing my inner Santa Mac and entertaining two energetic boys ages 6 and 9 by introducing myself as Mrs Claus.  They were hilarious, their dad visibly relieved that I was entertaining them with stories of doing the elves cooking and picking up their socks.  Lol it was fun. 

We landed  on the island and I got to my car around 1 a.m., so crawled into bed at the b&b I’d reserved by 2.  And Christmas Day?  Found a Timmys that was open, then back to bed…huge wind and rain storm was hitting the island, so I stayed under the covers, watching movies and reading.  And looking at photos of my life with Santa over the past 23 yrs.  Enjoying memories, recalling the moments of wonder with him.  I was so lucky.  And now, well its never going to be the same  

That doesn't mean my life won’t have joy.  It does.  My heart is filled with joy, grateful for what I’ve had.  Do I miss him?  Every moment.  No regrets.  It was a blessed life.  

Being Christmas I have a duty, nay a responsibility to do the season right.  A tree, lights, decorations, some garland.  And Turkey!  Today, I stopped at the local IGA when I got back to town.  A whole bird was out of the question, I mean I've cooked what? 6 meals since Mac passed.  But what to my wondering eyes did appear?  A turkey drumstick!  Kaloo Kalay!  Grabbed a box of turkey dressing, a tin o cranberry sauce, an envelope of gravy….9 brussel sprouts, now we’re cooking! One pan, some chicken broth and 90 minutes later the house was redolent with the aroma of a roasting delicious bird.  And yes, it was delicious! Amazingly, one drumstick, and I had enough for seconds, and there are leftovers for tomorrow 😉 Oh Mac would be proud. 

And that my friends is how this old gal spent her first ever Christmas alone for many many years.  It was occasionally tough, mostly joyful and filled with the love of family and friends.  A bit of turkey, some tequila, some tears…I think everything is going to work out okay.  

Until next year, Feliz Navidad, Ano Nuevo! 😎😻🎄🎉💕

End of the Year….

 Now it’s December, full on winter weather on the North Island.  Major winds, waking me at 3 a.m. with the sound of the surf.  A lot of rain.  The winter sideways pounding rain.  But on the upside the temp is above freezing, today it was at least 8C.  Even with threatening clouds.  Heck a nearby village had lightening!  Very odd weather indeed.

I continue  to enjoy my new path, new journey.  I have a new friend, a very nice gentleman, who has proved to be a stellar dinner companion.  We both are dealing with loss of spouse, and are just….lonely.  As I’ve said in the past, Its not the lonely as much as the Alone.  So we have coffee, chat about life, friends and family.  He is a true island dude…logger, mechanic, hunter.  He is not a Habs fan, tends to cheer on the Blackhawks, but that keeps hockey interesting!  

Hows the Dodge Journey?  Well it has a mystery lurch, mystery in that the mechanic I took it to could not find anything amiss.  Said it runs great!  Hope its cured, I’ll take it for a rip and find out.

This weekend Im heading back to Vancouver, to enjoy the Vancouver Men’s Choral group, 120 strong, amazing voices!  Its a chance to glam up, hit the Queen Elizabeth theatre and enjoy time with friends ,

So after consulting my neighbor in a game of “how does this look?” I’m ready to hit the city 🥂👠.  

Then back for a few days before heading to 👙🌞⛱🌴with my sister!  Ariba!!  Then back again to the Island weather 🌬🌧💦 And before you know it, the year will be winding up, and I’ll be looking for Robbie Burns and a Haggis!

Its been one hell of a year.  Very stressful, some joy, love and fun.  But deep pain and sorrow losing my darling husband.  Paperwork is being wrapped up as we speak, and I am already imagining 2024 and a road trip to ….who knows? 

So tonight, I am hoping for more than last nights 3 hrs of sleep.  My mind is becoming more settled, peaceful.  Focused? Wellll not so much.  

Hope you all have a peaceful enjoyable December.  🎄⛄️ Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I keep on searching…who the heck am I?

 Not to sound too depressing, or depressed, but its 7 months since my identity changed.  

I’m no longer a wife: not cherished, not loved passionately, no longer a partner at the table, or a co-conspirator planning the next adventure.  I don’t wake up to a big warm breathing man in the morning.  I think that is one of the toughest things to get my head around, the aloneness. I am fortunate that I have a wonderful strong group of friends who check in on me, encouraging me to get out and live.  Which I try to do.  More on that in a bit. But times the loneliness is hard to bear.  Thank God for so many wonderful memories.  

I’m no longer interested in getting up and getting cleaned up, dressed for the day.  Indeed my motivation for a day not just in pajamas  is tough to find, particularly on weekends.  When waking up at 3:30 a.m., checking messages and emails keeps me awake till 7 a.m., its super easy to just go back to sleep until later, as in 11:30 !!!  Not a good habit.  Fortunately my Casey Cat demands not only her breakfast, she also wants to go outside and won’t  hesitate to purr loudly in my face.  Very demanding. 😺

My identity as a biker has also gone downhill.  Although I am welcomed as Macs spouse by the Widows Sons,  I am fairly certain my riding days are over.  On the upside I think I can sell the Streetglide this coming spring.  This has been really hard, as I’ve ridden many many miles over the past 50 odd years, with so much fun, wonderful sites to see, some wicked storms, coast to coast in my country and the United States and into Mexico.  

Now I’m retired, so I’m Im not even an economic developer!  Not that I miss it, and there isn’t a wallet deep enough to get me working in municipal government again, but I must admit my profession has had some very cool rewarding twists and turns, travel overseas to Norway, and the Caribbean, awesome staff, accolades I never envisioned when I started.  Yeah it had some perks. heck I think it was a great way to travel all over North America!

Tonite as I wrap up what could become a pity party, I realize I’m no longer who I was.  Oh Im I’m still a sarcastic, red neck, but I am working hard to distract myself.  

I’m a traveller.  This summer’s wandering to the prairies and the US showed me I’m braver than I thought, camping in my car…very good for rebuilding my self confidence.  The laughing and b.s.ing along with a few scotches didn’t hurt either.  I recently flew to Vancouver for a wedding, and super fun get together with the old crew, then to Tumbler Ridge to see mom and Bob.  An aside, the bumpy flight home was almost air sickness:  note to self, no seafood chowder before a flight. Now my sites are set for a 2024 road trip to who knows?  Virginia?  who knows!!

I’m now a member of the Legion, which means Fridays I can get out, socialize, and make some new acquaintances., some of whom are fast becoming friends. Its a safe, welcoming group where I can get a decent dinner and a beer for $15.00  (I think I’ve mentioned in previous blogs my challenge with cooking)

 I joined a Seniors Core Strength yoga group - definitely outside my comfort zone, since I end up sore and achy after the really big stretches.  Finding out a couple of things about myself like a) I have no sense of balance, and b) flexible is not an accurate descriptive for myself.  I’m working on it.  Much healthier than cookies and chips (see previous no cooking reference)

I’m a Rotarian, and trying to organize my time to make the meetings!  Lol As I write these new things, Its clear I’m slowly evolving over time.  I mean, I went to bingo one night with a new friend. I am comfortable going to my neighbour's in my PJ’s with coffee in hand to chat about weather, life, pets, etc.  I bought a new to me car.  

Life may not always be smooth sailing, but so many supportive friends make it much more bearable.  Admittedly I have slid into depression, not deep or self harming, but a brutal loneliness for someone who won’t be back.  A shallow depression?  Lol  But as I write tonight about the good things in my life, I reassured that I will survive and even thrive.

I mean, I am now watching hockey on TV!  Me and the cat, beer and chips - go Habs!  I did actually cook this week, a delicious steak and spud meal, some yakasoba noodles with pork and shrimp and now a fridge full of leftovers.  And my house is festive with 20 Santas distributed throughout and the tree decorated.  

Thanks friends for keeping me out of the ditches as it were.  I’m safe and warm, as a storm rages outside.  Hugs to y’all 🤗💕✌️