Today feels like winter - brrrrr -18C this morning and although we 'fell back' one hour to dayliight savings time, I needed more than just an extra hour under the quilt! But I digress. This afternoon my man and I figured it was time to attend to the batteries on our trusty HD's.
Having been sans ride for 8 years, I was sure that well..how much can it change? It's a bike. Simple design, two wheels, one seat, a headlight, a set of handlebars - check. All the things my first bike from the mid 70's had and several in between.
So out with the manual (having learned the RTFI basics years ago) and off with the seat. Hmmm A lot of black. No sign of a battery post. Hmmmm a head scratcher. No sign of a battery. Hmmmm this is a bit o a quandry. Check the manual "remove the left side cover" more scratching... check the manual....
Having determined which is the left side - and finding some handy nearby garden gloves because now my fingers were frozen, I pried my semi-frozen fingers under the cover. I felt the near snap of fingernails and eased off the pressure - scratch, scratch, scratch - now how come I feel like a dumb weak old woman? How hard can this be! I heard my husband removing his seat, having his own struggles with his bike....
Each time I paused and asked myself that question I'd flash back to my younger years, like a couple of dozen years younger, when I had a nice simple shovelhead to tinker with. No problem, get a rubber mallet, a crescent wrench (or as I used to call it a mennonite socket set) and a big flathead screwdriver and a 9/16th socket - you could completely remove a motor and disassemble the rest of any old Harley. In the old days the manual was a handy beer coaster - or a spot to keep nuts, washers and bolts. And your beer.
Apparently as Bob sings, the times they're a changing, and now nothing looks familiar! I'm like a tourist driving in a foreign country - what looks like I've maybe seen before I second guess! There is no carb, no points and heaven knows what those grey plastic encased things are. Suddenly the fog clears - aha! That is a wiring harness - and my little warning cells in the brain say "don't touch - expensive." I notice hubby connecting the trickle charger to his bike. Dammit I can do this!
I need some light. Remembering the trouble light I'd bought my man a few years back, I located this low tech beauty and voila! illumination! Ok, I think, now things are going smoothly. Re-consult the book - must remove left cover. A pry, a grunt, and urge to use a rubber mallet crosses my mind then a dull click and the cover is loose. Good, good, nothing broken.
Get book. Remove seat - check. Remove left side cover - check. And there is the slickly encased red of a positive post. Aha!! There be battery here captain! I am on track. I remember the golden rule of battery removal - always disconnect the negative post before the positive post or things could go bad. In fact upon consulting the manual again, I find the next few pages of my manual had nothing but little warnings "could result in serious injury or death" type warnings in bold letters. Check - serious injury was to be avoided at all costs.
Now to disconnect the negative post - but alas, no such thing to be seen! Using the low tech trouble light I peered into the bowels of the creature to locate it hidden under the wiring harness and behind something solid and unyeilding. Difficult - yes. Impossible - not totally, but definately tough to get at. Wait - what about the ground wire? Check book.
Egad. Get out the white flag boys - things aren't looking good. The book says to use a long thin multi-jointed socket to wiggle behind the starter (where the hell is that!!!) to remove the bolt the ground it hooked to. It was at this point I imagined all the mini mechanics that were cheering me on (in my mind) turning and fleeing the scene like rats abandoning ship. Should I actually locate that damn ground, and through some multi-jointed fluke of luck get it off - how in the h-e-double hockey sticks would I ever get it back on again come spring!!!
Defeat is such a loser of a word. As I held my now frozen fingers over the trouble light, I knew things would not end well if I applied old world technology (read hammer) on new world mechanics (read sportster) Humbling? For someone who's ridden since she was 16? Who has completed two endurance events involving 3 countries in 4 days on a bike? Who has travelled coast to coast and through nearly 60% of the US of A? Who has jury rigged a broken motor mount with two flattened beer cans and baling wire?!! You want to beleive it's humbling!
After 8 years of wishing I had a bike again, for just a glimmer of a second I felt like it was all a mistake. "Too old" came whooshing through my mind. But wait! As my fingers regained a semblance of feeling I remembered: I may be old, but I got a truck! And money to pay some GENUINE CERTIFIED HARLEY MECHANICS to deal with this damn battery issue.
Or, once I warm up and a chinook blows in, I'll try again. And now to put those flannel sheets on the bed!
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