The Ballad of Mr Big. Farewell friend and companion.

Exposing the inner sorrows of my being is not an easy task, and knowing I'm not alone in this doesn't make it any easier.
How do you explain to those who don't bond with a pet that it's like losing a family member? Like losing a best friend and companion?

Oh I have heard "well you'll just get over it, get another pet" or "I'm not a cat person, I can't relate" These are words.  Not healing for my pain, for the loss, for the hole in our home, in our hearts.

We said goodbye on a Sunday evening, when the thunderheads were gathering, when the wind was whipping up for another dry hot weekend...but I am getting ahead of myself.

There was a time when while living on the north west coast of British Columbia I pushed for a pet - we had just purchased a beautiful home, with a big fenced yard, lots of room for a fido to be a part of our family. And not a little fluffy yappy dog, no a "real" dog - with a big solid WOOF of a bark.  And so I optimistically started looking for "the right one".

A rescue dog seemed to fit the bill.  Oh and then I saw it - Barney.  Basset hound mix.  Goofy looking but sturdy.  Off we went - oh yeah a pooch was the answer! We arrived at the shelter, it had a no kill policy so the animals were some times in for the long haul - getting out of the car, we heard a sound. A wild boar? A scared mule? what the heck kind of bark was that???? Horrified we realized it was...Barney!! Yikes!! Pig-dog is the only way I can describe it.  A couple of ear splitting bellows and I said - maybe not for us.  Let's look at the cats.

My plan - which was apparently very fluid - was to just look at the cats in the shelter.  And there were cats aplenty!! Old cats, fluffy cats, scared cats, fat cats, baby cats...a plethora of pussycats!  One beautiful old kitty - Himalayan by it's markings, was sitting in its litter box.  "He is too sad" husband said "he is saying, I'm shit.  No one wants me"  I was almost in tears! We couldn't take them all. It was a bit heart breaking.

Then there was one more we hadn't paid attention to.  A big guy.  Black and white like Sylvester.  Sitting back with a "I could care less if you like me or not, or pet me or talk to me...move along you're bothering me" look.  Until John walked up. Then the big guy got up - put his paw through the wire on the cage and beckoned as if "You, yeah you, c'mere." and that was it.  I said he reminded me of the gangster on the Simpsons.

The cat had chosen John.  Not us. Not me.  Him specifically.  Checking with the shelter staff we found this cat had days before he was considered "Kennelized" and unadoptable due to his long incarceration.  Doomed to life in the shelter.  No kill policy remember.    We talked about it on the drive home, and before we even pulled in the garage were turning around, getting a liter box, food, etc and going back to get our new cat!

Well lemme tell you - this cat - who had a gansta attitude and whom we immediately named Fat Tony aka Mr. Big - and who was estimated to be 5 yrs old and around 20 lbs was a terror!!! Oh he snuggled John, all purring and head butts to the beard, laying on his chest like a perfect pet. I thought yes, we have a new friend.  This however was not to be.

Mr Big it was determined, would be kept in the house for a few days till we felt he knew this was in fact his new home.  Mr Big didn't like this plan.  So on day 3 in his new loving home, he decided that since John was his Alpha - I was his subordinate.  This meant I was fair game in the attack department.

Now if moving to a new city wasn't enough, and a new house....getting attacked and I mean teeth and claws - by a 20 lb cat was more than I could handle!  He nailed me - paws and claws wrapped around my right leg, teeth deep in the side of my knee - and I reacted like the chicken I am and ran!! Slammed the bedroom door - kind of caught his head - but I was in tears!! John said "You better show him who's boss"  and grabbing a rolled up magazine chased that cat all over the house for 15 minutes - slamming and banging on everything near him - but not hitting the cat.  Telling Mr Big the whole time - "She's mine, not yours, you cannot attack my woman".

The start of a some times tense relationship - he knew how to push my buttons, (panic buttons!) and how to badger me into getting his way.

In his old age, Mr Big because much cuddlier.  When husband left for a two week assignment to South America, Mr B was at first - put out! He bit, hissed, scratched...but after three days of "Hey where's my man?" he gave up.  The Ruler of the House must have realized - "hey, "she" is the only one left here - to feed me, give me pets, and change the liter box.  I shouldn't kill her - yet!"  And so the final truce was settled - for those two weeks, the only snuggles the big guy got were on my lap.  I was it.  Wisely, he decided ok I'll be nice to her - and our final stage of love and life commenced.  I did learn to love him - yes there were still the odd hiss and swat, but habits of a lifetime are hard to shake.  He had become - a lovable, placid, house cat.

Then he started to lose some weight - hmmm not like him.  Moved a lot slower.  Stopped eating.  This was NOT like our cat at all!  So off to the vet - a teary trip because he was just SO unhappy about being in the car and I felt I was torturing him.  Poor cat.
The vet took him into the back, and I heard loud yowling and protests.  The test results came in - Mr. B had renal failure.  The vet looked so crestfallen when he told me - he was not happy to announce the impending demise of our much loved pet.

Apparently the high protein food that was increasing his mobility had sped up the ruin of his kidneys - so a new food was recommended.  And amazingly - it worked!  His coat was shiny, he was looking happy and being an active cat again.  Ok he was moving a bit slower, but it was an age thing too right?

 He became a whiz at catching mice - and delivered many presents at my feet - mainly baby field mice and I don't even want to know where he got them from.  He purred and let me rub his head between the ears.  We sat together and read books or watched movies....and his final year was one of peaceful coexistence.  It was a good time of his life, we were all thankful.

We knew it couldn't last - the Vet said with the change of diet he might have a year, two if we were really lucky.  Well a year after the diagnosis, he started to fail - and very fast.  He had trouble walking, and taking the stairs.  He was not happy.  You could tell he felt awful.  Then the morning of my birthday came along - July 9.  John was outside starting the bbq when I heard him call - "He's collapsed" and our sadness started to push at the flood gates.  Our hearts were breaking, it was time.  A call to the Vet, and a quiet sad car trip...and we handed him over after many tearful goodbyes.
Then we waited outside - until we knew - Mr. Big was gone.  Just recalling the day brings tears to my eyes.

We'd lost our friend and companion of 13 years.  The hole in our hearts, in our lives and our home was vast.  And we mourned our loss, at times not even able to look at each other.  He was a good cat.  Mr Big will be missed forever.

Afterwards, when we could talk about it, we decided it was just too hard to lose a pet. So no more.  No pets, no cats, no dogs, no gerbils, birds or fish.  We were done.  I gave all the "cat stuff" away to other cat owning friends, and we resigned ourselves to be pet-less.  Then a friend sent a picture of a kitten. 

Oh no, here we go again. 

To be continued.

Winter Blues, Thoughts of Spring and Crazy Summer Birds

Winter snow coats my deck, the bbq is huddled under it's cover and the cats are hunting for sunbeams.  This describes today in my neighborhood. 

As we headed into mid February, often the coldest month of the prairie winter, I have to stop to reflect on what my year is going to be like.  Is there substance to the old saying that how your year starts is a predictor of how it the year will unfold? Who knows!

January started off with joy, friends, champagne and lots of laughing! So that is a good thing right? How quickly did it devolve into medical appointments and aches and pains - I can't be getting old! I was just young - don't tell me I have arthritis, age spots on my hands and  other such nuisance maladies!

My reality doesn't recognize a  CPP aged woman with a lot of extra "chrome" in her hair.  Which is why my reality chooses to involve a very dear friend who is practised in the art of "beauty enhancement".  I know - she's got an awesome base to work with (tee hee) but seriously I really don't believe I'm getting old.  And I think I can prove my theory of eternal youthfulness - here goes.

I am still fun and everyone knows old people are crotchety and cantankerous.  I mean would like to NOT see stray hairs on my lip, chin and other areas that are not my scalp.  What's with that? No one told me ingrown toenails, reduced digestive powers (read gas) and creaky knees were in the future.

My amply padded derriere should protect me from discomfort on long drives yes? Well not so fast - after an hour on the road, my hips don't want to cooperate, I get a headache from air conditioning in summer, and even heated seats don't sooth my achey breaky bum!  Oh when did this start?

Now I've jumped ahead to July - hot and I mean plus 35 and more for a couple of weeks.  So hot my yard is baked.  Not just an expression - the raspberries baked on the cane! The saskatoon berries turned into raisins.  In what seemed like a day! They just can't compete with the unrelenting sun.

To the north, storms abound, tornado watches are common place, and hail pounds what is left of the crops.  In our village, everyone is sort of droopy like my shrubs - we need rain.  But this heat is what I want to remember in the -20C weather when I'm chipping snow off the drive!

This morning I was giving the eyeball to my now empty strawberry patch (thanks Robins) and the wrens were giving me heck - when I noticed what I thought was a rabbit at first glance.  Nope, a lovely little calico cat, young, obviously pregnant - I said good morning, please don't have your babies in my garden. To which the cat meowed back loudly as if to say "hey I'm hunting here, move along!" Soo she told me!

Yes seasons are progressing as they should, I'm aging as I should - what I forget is past weather, and the fact I'm now a senior.  A young senior but still, when a man came into the office and was asking who the older women with glasses was - I had a shudder and realized Oh Lord he's talking about me.

Perhaps I should embrace this new time of life - say sunset years and you are asking for a smack!

Wait for the signs....why 333??

I notice today as I sit at the keyboard that the time is 3:33 and I'm overcome with a powerful urge to blog.

To write.

To get it out there - perchance to entertain, maybe make you laugh or get a little angry, to go out on a literary limb and produce "something".

My urge to create, to influence, to make people think is strong just now.  I want to work - to share what I have experienced, my knowledge. Target the new and struggling businesses - help show them the way through the jungle of marketing, of working, overcome challenges and exceed all customer expectations!

What does it all mean? Really is it a sign at all.I mentioned the time 3:33. It's the time I see most often when I wake up in the middle of the night.

I procrastinated - didn't post the blog when I was composing it - but the 3:33 remains! I woke again - what the heck was keeping me up? Brain gets rushing along - I think myself into insomnia some times.

And now? Ok time change, it's weeks later at 2:03 - organizing my thoughts to how I can continue to create, entertain, perhaps educate?  Time for some fresh air - and get my self back on track.

What's that light - the train?? LOL

Night Night Rudolph - hello Swans!

See ya Rudolph...be good!

And so it goes again - this winter was tied up to the Claus events - and so after finally recovering from all sorts of germy virusy crap, Santa has hung up his suit.  Yup, you read it here first.  Santa has left the building.  Done.  Finito.  Adios.  Ta Ta.

Regrets? Nope!  He's called his usual clients said his farewells, alerted stand in Santa, and now - we
are thinking of HOW to spend next Christmas! This is big news people, for a jolly elf who did 59 gigs in 2016.  Pneumonia be dammed!  He's had a great run - and I am happy albeit surprised he came to this decision.  I think he's just had enough "busy" season. He loves the kids, at times the parents maybe not-so-much. He'll still get called Santa since the beard is trimmed but still white.  But we can live with that.

What this really meansfor our home? Oh yippee!!! We can have Seasonal Celebrations! Christmas Parties with drinky's and appy's!!! Woohoo!   Our large and traditionally festive home will be rockin' round the Christmas trees!Yippeee!!  Do we still believe? You know- the bell still rings for us, and always will - just that this year, the big elf is officially off duty.  Time for his stand in to make an appearance.

I still adore Christmas - it's a wonderful, warm, loving time of year.  I do not love sitting at home alone while the rest of the world is celebrating that much! So this is a good thing.  MAYBE we'll even have a chance some year to go - dare I type it - somewhere WARM at Christmas!! Oh fingers crossed!

Hundreds of  trumpeter swans are back.

In the mean time, Spring has arrived! Sort of - come on let's be realistic, it's Alberta and winter is sneaking up on us to BAM snow and blizzard any time between now and June. But the robins have returned, swans are a'swimming, geese are grabbing prime real estate for their nests - all good!

Yes, tis now the time for all good unemployed (for now) EDO's to get the rake and take care of all the leaves!  And perhaps load up the fire pit, for a bundled up evening of hot dogs, warms drinkies and watching the stars on the weekend!  Yup this is a busy time of year - requiring lots of energy, and ambition.

So I  take a minute now and then to put my feet up, have a cup of coffee in the sunroom with my old cat Mr Big, and just reflect how things happen in life.  At the very least, these few months have given me new determination, tried my patience and faith in myself, a chance to catch up on things I've been putting to the side. Next?  Well perhaps a trek to the far north to see my mom - I mean, no time like the present!

Seems like a long since I rock and rolled...leggo my ego.

Another morning upon us in now thawing Albeeria - and yet, I remain unemployed.  A  hausfrau who's main excitement these days is trying new recipes.  COOKING!! I can't fathom it.

You see - after 7 months, still no jobs in the bag - However the Polly Anna in me is still hopeful and still getting interviewed - two more this month.

On the way to California in the
rain on the Sporty.

Job hunting is somewhat demoralizing tho.  It's a tough slog - tweak and reformat the resume, review and amend the cover letter, find a job you think -  nay you KNOW you'll excel at, send in the forms, follow up with a cordial email, interview and essentially expose all your work history to the panel and then...BAM you come in first loser.

That's the hardest part.  The part where you look in the mirror, in your best interview outfit, hair done nice, makeup subtle but it's there - and you are old. You are not 30 anymore, and the one who got hired is.  Where they say oh you interviewed well, the board just thought.....blah blah blah.  Does it hurt? Is my ego wounded?  I'm gutted!

North Cal wineries - the best!

So what to do?  Me needs a job - no job might mean no bike. No bike means no joy, no rides with Macdaddy, no face pushing through the air for thousands of miles -- it is too hard to consider!
Motorcycling has been my life for over 40 years! From the first time I got on my friends brothers Bultaco and groined myself badly at age 15, to my first ride to the Black Hills in '83 on the back of a 750Bonneville to partywith over 20,000 bikers  - I've been hooked!

 This Dyna is my 5th motorcycle - the one that I swear was made for me. Fast, sleek, nice wide cushy seat, great handlebar set up, forward controls...oh yeah it's the one.  And I can keep up to Mac on days that I feel particularly brave and wild.  No problemo!

So in order to maintain this love affair with my Dyna, I need to make some dough.  It ain't cheap!

My Dyna - best bike EVER!
See me smile!

I've considered other career paths - too late in my game to become a lawyer or doctor , so that is checked off the list.  English teaching in a foreign land? Hmm too much weird food and I hate big bugs.   Perhaps a life of crime? Good grief, that would require a lot of stealth and sneakyness - not my biggest assets.  Nope scratch that idea.

I thought it was all over when I sold my beloved softail the year we moved to the NWT. I was overwhelmed with a profound loss of who I was. If you haven't been through something like this, it's really hard to understand.  Motorcycling is what defines me - more than anything.  I crave it - I yearn for it -I dream about it - Mac understands.  So I admit, now first thing I check out when job hunting - Are the Roads Paved???

For now, business counseling and consulting is my route - and without several successful consulting gigs under my belt, that is becoming a slimmer and slimmer option. Now my daily routine is get up, coffee and breakfast, kiss Mac as he heads out the door, then an hour and a half scouring the job boards.

We've talked it over - we'll move - no fear here - let's see where we'll end up.  The two old smiling farts, with big bikes, big dreams and lots of country left to explore!

And hopefully a paycheque at the end of the month!

Hugs from the highway y'all!

Undeck the Halls and Get out yer Haggis Lads!

Greetings and happy new year's all my handful of blog followers - yes tis the season to move along into the new year!

How was Christmas you ask?? Well a continuation of my last "missive" - summed up - we are all sick, REAL sick,, two trips to the emergency room, three prescriptions for antibiotics, one sick guest from the US of A (we love ya and miss ya Lynnipooh!) many loads of laundry and 13,462 boxes give or take a few...of tissues and a partridge in a pear tree!   Mac is recovering from a horrid round of pneumonia, with a twinkle returning to his eye this morning! I reckon he got really sick around the 20th of Dec...so it's been many weeks now!!

And now it's behind us! Thank goodness!! Tough to get into the spirit, with beautiful decorations hung with care, the most delicious chocolates which are hard to taste when your sinuses are raging, two amazing trees and about 58 appearances by the Big Elf in Red.  Ho-ho-holy Moly!!!

So on my Christmas wish list for 2017, I would like to replace THIS  (Santa and his fans - and he has thousands of them!) for Feet up by the pool with Palm Trees!!

Is that too much for a Claus Widow to ask for?? Of course I want Santa's feet in the picture as well!

And no, no Red Velvet White Fur Trimmed holiday wear - in fact maybe we'll dye our hair black...hahahaha


Else where in the news - life as a consultant is sure slow.  However, hope looms on the horizon with three excellent job leads, two of whom have expressed interest in making me their employee!! Watch for updates friends!


Have you heard the pipes, the pipes are calling! Well this Wednesday January 25th 2017 it's Robbie Burns Birthday - ahhh yes, another wonderful lad born in the first month (Along with hubby and with my friend Gman) but for Burns, ur home celebrates the entire week! Starting with a proper Scottish Breakfast on Sunday with black puddin', fried mushrooms and of course Haggis!   With egg rolls?? And a wee dram perhaps.   Well did ya know this year, it's Chinese New Year's on  the 25th as well.   And did you know there is a Chinese Tartan?
Aye - we met a lovely man who wore his striking tartan when we took highland dance classes!

So one and all Happy Burns Day... tonight it's Fish & Chips, tomorrow maybe a nice Curry?  All Scot Favorites!  Get out those sporans, pour a wee dram of something smooth and toast to the Bard!

Here's to a 2017 that is  prosperous, healthy, full of friends and safe riding  ahead!!

Slainte!

The weather outside is frightful...and so is my hair!

Ahhh the joys of static electricity.  Hair stands on end, in a Tesla like fashion as the moisture is sucked from the atmosphere - and static cling is your new nemesis.  Cold dry weather, skin that is no longer silky smooth but is sandpaper and horrid...that's winter in Alberta.

How hard can a static shock snap? Well lets try the sock and cat trick...rub your stocking feet on the carpet, then shuffle up the the cat.  YEOW! And usually the one howling is you - the cat, nonplussed, might give a perfunctory swat at you for trying to annoy it.  Surrender, go to the light switch to see what is happening in the world. and SNAP you get it again.  Yup, just for thinking evil thoughts about your furry friend.  Let's not even go to the pet hair sticking to everything you wear issue, no just sigh in defeat, get a dryer sheet out and try to amend the clothing that is waaay to friendly and stuck to you like velcro.

Winter is a tough season.  I mean where I live, it can, and given a chance will kill you.  Friends who were ill prepared for our winters have lost feet, been frozen and scarred.  Not a nice thing.  So my motto is Be prepared! Over prepared if you can, why just depend on one set of gloves when you have plenty of pocket room for a second pair.  Scarves?  Just how many is too many? I keep a full change of warm wear in my car - just in case!

So all this might give you the reader the idea that I don't like winter.  Well let me just be specific here - I don't like being cold.  I like winter.  I like bundling up, snow crunching as I struggle to get those decorative seasonal candy canes to stand up.  In -25C  weather.  Did you know plastic breaks really easy when it's that cold? Well you do now.  So my 6, nay 5 candy canes are listing but lovely in front of the house.  They go well with my single antlered deer...LOL

The thing is, I'm a pretty social gal.  I am blogging now, preparing to watch netflix and preparing to watch a movie downstairs - I'm going big tonight, 2 movies!! (where the electric seduction of the toasty fireplace awaits me) but here's the scoop: should I feel like I'm missing out on weekends once The Big Elf gets booked?? I mean, yes I have a beer open on the desk, yes I've eaten about a third of a miserable excuse of a frozen pizza, but come on!! Where are my peeps? My buddies?  The truth is - I'm old.  and so are my friends.  And Saturday nights are no longer for going out and dancing in the streets.  Living in a rural village means that no one who I hang with lives here.  Ok there are a couple of folks I would actually love to hang with tonight, but that would mean getting dressed into something more presentable than old baggies and a tshirt (and a cap, since well, who has time to shower every day?)  But I know they have their families and lives and so I must be inventive and find alternative ways to spend my energy.  What there is of energy!!

Tonight I am keeping a promise and blogging.  I love to blog - why is it so far between installments?  One word.  Santa.  He is a big demand on my time these days - from rushing around looking for white gloves, to chauffeuring him through wind and snow to a waiting audience (occasionally while I'm dressed as the Mrs in Red)  to tonight - he leaves on time, I wave good bye in the -19C weather, and hustle back into the house.  Only what to my wondering eyes did appear?? Oh snap, he left his thermos cups on the counter - I forgot to pack them! So hustle out of flip flops, into boots, grab one of the plethora of touques and jump into my trusty Kia! 30 minutes later I'm delivering his hot drinks, while he sits incognito waiting to get on the Polar Express!  And this happens every weekend, some week nights, and occasionally twice in one day!

Yup the life of the Claus's is not all chocolate and sugar plums, no there is also late night laundry, inventive snacks that will withstand subzero weather, but on the up side many afternoons are spent in "a long winter nap" which could become one of the highlights of winter for me.  And we aren't even at the big day yet - which this year involves family from the US of A and a lot of movies!! Did I mention chocolate? mmmmm

I know there are days when I just wanna hang up the suit, be a tourist in winter, perhaps make it to some of  the Christmas parties going on - we'll see what transpires.  But for now, how can I resist?  He's handsome and jolly, a little naughty but really nice...worth a few SNAPS when I shuffle over to him for a smooch - and now, to get some chocolate to take away the taste of cheap frozen pizza.

Gotta go check those Christmas lights and the timer - until next time
Stay warm!